RUMOR CONTROL...THESE ARE THE FACTS

[FilmNerdJamie]

James Tolkan as their hard-ass captain/editor/superior and James Woods as the mischievous Rex Reed.

[Ed Hocken]

So this movie should have been made in 1986 with a Harold Faltermeyer score then?

I like it.

[Matt]

James Tolkan as their hard-ass captain/editor/superior

Remember, you screw up JUST THIS MUCH and you'll be stuck reviewing gay porno films out of Hong Kong.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Don't know who the villain is and whether or not they have diplomatic immunity.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Remember, you screw up JUST THIS MUCH and you'll be stuck reviewing gay porno films out of Hong Kong.

W-I-N!

[Ed Hocken]

Someone get William Forsythe as sleezy will do anything for money critic Jeff Craig.

[V]

We need a silent, bleached blonde assassin who wears mirrored Lennon shades...and he must use a smatchet.

[FilmNerdJamie]

James Woods as the mischievous Rex Reed.

I stand corrected. Since we talking circa 1986, De Niro should be Rex Reed.

[Ed Hocken]

The 1986 designation isn't necessariy saying it was filmed at the time. That's just the vibe I get from the movie.

Basically, take the movie Running Scared (The Billy Crystal version) and insert Siskel & Ebert. You've got box office gold.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Mid 80s is just as good a time as any for two guys to kick ass and review film. By their own rules.

[FilmNerdJamie]

There must also be a scene where Siskel packs popcorn, soda pop and explosives in his briefcase that he takes to the screenings.

[Matt]

Ebert's at his desk, chatting with another journalist

EBERT: Yeah, I'm supposed to get a new partner on my movie review gig.

OTHER GUY: Partner? Yeah, I heard that. Guy's transferring in from another paper...supposed to be crazy.

EBERT: Really? Aw, man...

(tall guy walks into the news room. He's scruffy looking, looks out of place. EBERT watches him)

EBERT (cont.) I always get stuck with the crazy ones...the 'Death Wish' loving motherfuckers

OTHER GUY: I hear ya, I hear ya...

(the tall guy pulls out what looks like a gun)

EBERT (loudly): GUN!!!!

(EBERT charges in to leap on the tall guy. The tall guy, stunned, grabs a typewriter from behind him and knocks EBERT to the ground. EBERT, on the ground, looks up just in time to see the tall guy put his foot on his neck)

OTHER GUY: Uh, Rog? Meet your new partner

EBERT: Ah man, I'm gettin' too old for this shiiiiit...

[FilmNerdJamie]

There must be a role for Gary Busey.

[Matt]

Gary Busey as Pauline Kael.

[Ed Hocken]

I was going to say Armond White but that's for Bill Duke.