RUMOR CONTROL...THESE ARE THE FACTS

[Ed Hocken]

Fuck her, much?

[Matt]

Fuck her lunch?

[Ray Abed]

Suck Her Punch While I Eat My Lunch?

[Ed Hocken]

Hmm, that's pretty good.

[FilmNerdJamie]

I hope this movie is another Fifth Element.

Didn't catch any sky-diving clowns in Pull-Ups in the trailers.

[Martin]

Chris Tucker did skydiving in The Fifth Element? Are you sure you didn't watch Maximum Velocity instead?

[FilmNerdJamie]

MST3K: Summer Blockbuster Review reference.

[Martin]

Boy you lost me there. I'll check it out tonite!

[Abraham Smashington]

5th Element is great.

Haters gonna hate.

[Bobby Bear]

I have simple tastes.

As do I. Little more than a bowl of cereal and a Winona Ryder movie can keep me occupied. However...

It LOOKS good, but LOOKS will only get you so far if the plot isn't there. I remain unconvinced.

And...

I just want to CARE about what's going on...be actively involved in the film rather than merely having the visuals wash over me.

MATT WINS HIS BIRTHDAY!!!

That said, I did enjoy checking out the pics of Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, and the supremely underrated Jena Malone in the aforementioned Empire piece. I still can't shake the feeling that the movie's "Art of..." book will be more entertaining than the film itself, though.

[BillyG]

Bobby, jerking it to moving pictures > jerking it to a magazine mang. The films will be much more entertaining.

[Martin]

Unless you flip those pages REALLY REALLY FAST.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Makes perfect sense that Elliot Ness is the adoptive father of Superman. Same as President Bartlet raising Spider-Man.

[Matt]

You L.A. mofos and your New Beverly theater. Lucky bastards.

[Bobby Bear]

Bobby, jerking it to moving pictures > jerking it to a magazine mang. The films will be much more entertaining.

How much of those moving pictures will actually be comprised of said hot chicks though, mate? A fair chunk of them will probably feature robots or zombies or some form of exploding robot zombies (who may or may not be samurai aliens)... all of which will likely distract from precious Malone time.