RUMOR CONTROL...THESE ARE THE FACTS

[Ingrid]

Well, Jamie, I think your avatar pretty much sums up how I feel about that one.

[Anderson]

To cap a wacky day, the plot details from the Ron Howard redo for Han Solo leaked.

The woke people are going to be maaaaadddd.

[Matt]

Share!!!

[Anderson]

I'm just going to copy and paste in what's been going around.

  Spoiler: Ron Howard redux Spoilers 

Han Solo (Alden Ehrenreich) and his father figure (Yondu/Quill dynamic)/leader Beckett (Woody Harrelson) live on Corellia, and are part of the street-racing scene there. Their 'crew' consists of Kira (Emilia Clarke) and a number of others, and the film essentially opens on Han Solo, already mostly-formed as who we know him to be: roguish, impetuous, arrogant-with-a-heart-of-gold (Cue collective sigh of relief for those worried that we'd "learn his name" or "demystify his childhood".), in the midst of or leading up to a speeder/swoop race. This establishes Han as an ace racer/pilot. The cops crack down on them (Han: 'I would have won if the cops hadn't shown up!') and he and Beckett are taken in (they're probably regulars down at the local lock up) -- likely on first name basis with all the officers and captains -- perhaps even friendly with some of them.










"Basically, the officer who comes down on them and sits down across the interrogation table from Han and Beckett explains that 'this isn't one of their usual crack-downs on their street-racing' - the two of them have been brought in for a far more important and grave reason. The officer (perhaps Paul Bettany, though more on what his role might be later) explains that there are rumblings of an Imperial Invasion and occupation, And that, more than ever, they need experienced pilots and street-smart young men ('and uh, experienced leaders too', nodding at Beckett) to join the City Guard, to be ready for what comes next. In Han (and Beckett) fashion, he explains that he doesn't believe in indoctrinating themselves to any chain of command, and that Corellia is just his home, not his homeland (again, preserving his mystery). The officer gravely says that 'wether with us or with them (the empire) when they invade...if they win...that's an attitude that's gonna have to change.' Han furrows his brow, and looks to a knowing and wary glance from Beckett." We do a time jump, or we simply shift scenes, To Han and Beckett as Imperials (this explains Han's kinship with Finn in The Force Awakens: he was also a former soldier who went AWOL). They've adjusted to their lot in life (idea: Han likes the Empire's boots and remarks to Beckett that 'hey, at least these clowns have nice boots', which explains why he wears them all the way through TFA), joke here and there about the old days, and Han is hired on Cargo Freighter Pilot Duty - this establishes his familiarity with Corellian Cargo Ships, like a certain hunk of junk we'll meet for the first time a bit later... During an average day serving in the Corellian Imperial City Guard, Han and Beckett are asked to execute an inhumane order (Jason from MSW: one second they're in these imperial outfits, the next scene they're being dragged through the mud). They're made an example of to the entire platoon -- possibly due to the fact that they refused to carry out an order issued by Vader himself (off-screen) - possibly something about not killing a family suspected of rebel affiliation -- And, you guessed it, they are sent to the Spice Mines of Kessel. Here, it's a harsh life - Han's bravado and sarcastic demeanour is put to the test (Deadpool style, how his captors basically suck the sarcasm and attitude from him), and it is here that he finds out that a sizeable percentage of the hard-labour force is made up of enslaved Wookiee Families. Han and Beckett hatch a plan to escape, but Han confronts Beckett about what they're going to do about the Wookiees? Beckett snaps at him, saying that they've only ever worried about themselves, and that's kept them alive so far. The two have a spat, Causing a scene and, tragically/bittersweetly, this results in Beckett being beaten up in front of Han and Chewbacca and his family - it turns out Beckett was feigning selfishness to cause a distraction, so that Han, Chewie and his family can escape (think of the (GoT Spoliers) Halfhand vs. Jon 'fake fight'). Han looks over his shoulder, sees Beckett give him a reassuring smirk, before he is executed in front of the miner force and staff. This causes a riot, and this is where Han and Chewie make a run for it. Han and Chewie's family escape on board a YT model Corellian freighter - with blue markings - and they make it to a distant port. Here, they meet Lando (Donald Glover), who is (potentially) 'the administrator of this facility' - and immediately a friendly rivalry develops between he and Han.









Lando says 'nice pilot Skills, but you happen to be on my property, and you are not an authorised guest. Not to mention that that ship, along with all the mining equipment on Kessel, is my property' - they argue, and we might potentially see Lobot (Bettany ?) restrain Han from attacking Lando.









Han apologises to Chewie's and his family - for getting out of one prison, only to end up in another one. Here is where the Life debt scene happens - Essentially Han picked up some Wookiee speech while working in the mines, and he understands that Chewie had pledged a life debt to him - no matter how many prisons they end up in together. Han promises once this is over, he will return his Wookiees to their planet - and that's when he gets an idea! He asks to speak to Lando - you can have my ship, if you negotiate with the Spice Mines to free the Wookiees. Lando refuses, and instead decides that if he beats him at Sabacc, the 'traditional way' of dealing with these sorts of situations, then he'll consider his idea. Edit: enter Kira, who has been prospering since the invasion, using her street-smarts, wits and looks to find her way to either being a business partner of Lando, part of his entourage, or having influence over him in some way. Han beats Lando, keeps his ship, and with the help of the Wookiees (Edit: and Kira) 'kindly' asks Lando to help him with his plan.











They rig the Falcon to go extremely fast, and basically a plan is hatched and executed where Lando is enticed with promises of climbing the ladder and getting into a cleaner business than Spice (hello? Tibanna gas?) - use all the mined ore from Kessel to buy himself out of this situation... ...he pledges his transport ships to Han's Wookiee-freeing/Mine-destroying/Beckett-avenging plan, and essentially he sneaks in looking like your average slow YT cruiser, some awesome sleuthy-plan stuff goes down, and the Kessel Run ends up being Han being chased in the Millennium Falcon through the Kessel Run...not traditionally running it competitively. It's not made a big deal of, nor is it named as such in the film - it just is what it is. Han frees the Wookiees, brings them all back to their planet, and (edit - speculation) Chewie is the one who names the Falcon, after some Kashyyyk local legend of a prophesied Falcon that appears only once every millennium to save the Wookiees from certain doom After this ceremony (where Han is kind of made an honorary Wookiee, Nyaw) The closing scene is Chewie waving to his family on Kashyyyk, Saying that he has a promise to keep

Have fun with all that. By the way...cough cough...verified.

[Matt]

Huh. Well, if that's the plot and it's executed correctly, it could be good. It reads rather generically but again...it could end up being good.

I just wish they'd done the Brian Daley Han Solo books. Those would have been perfect.

[Anderson]

I believe it's the plot outline and holds up to the recasts and role shifts. There are still details missing for me.

[Jan]

The woke people are going to be maaaaadddd.

As an old white male I don’t get why Woke people could get mad.

The Wookie people on the other hand....

[Anderson]

As an old white male I don’t get why Woke people could get mad.

The Wookie people on the other hand....

because eliminating MKW from the movie made zero sense.

That and gutting out Lando's role.

[Jan]

MKW?

I seem to have lost touch with all that nerd shit.

And wasn’t it supposed to be turned into a trilogy in the early stages because the script was allegedly so good?

[Captain Russ]

Sounds like a nightmare fueled by nostalgia.

[Anderson]

MKW?

I seem to have lost touch with all that nerd shit.

And wasn’t it supposed to be turned into a trilogy in the early stages because the script was allegedly so good?

Michael K Williams

[Jan]

Gotcha.

[Anderson]

Thor Ragnarok spoilers

  Spoiler: like it says 

Jokey to the point of wondering about the filmmakers' mental health.

Nude Hulk Ass.

First act is garbage.

They want Kurg to be the new Groot in the worst way.

Thor loses an eye. Everyone spends 2 minutes joking about it.

The Warriors Three are brutally slaughtered

Odin dies in Norway. Where it seems they're going to rebuild Asgard.

Thor initiates Ragnarok to kill Hela, as she has become directly bonded to Asgard. He destroys the realm to kill Death.

The Sakaar stuff has the best action, but heavily edited. Giant ass jumps in logic.

Miek and Korg will be in IW.

That's all I can remember right now.

[Captain Russ]

Oof

  Spoiler: Thing 

Volstagg and Sif deserved better than that.

Sad irony of a film about the destruction of the gods as being labeled "Marvel's funniest film to date."

[Anderson]

Oof

  Spoiler: Thing 

Volstagg and Sif deserved better than that.

Sad irony of a film about the destruction of the gods as being labeled "Marvel's funniest film to date."

The humor hurts so much of the movie. It works at points and then it's like REALLY? Now, a joke?