RUMOR CONTROL...THESE ARE THE FACTS

[FilmNerdJamie]

The story in the 4th one is good enough to transcend the production values, but the 5th one...no. It's simply got too much padding for a feature length film.

Bingo. Might as well called Conquest "Shit Gets Real with the Planet of the Apes"

[Matt]

Don't judge the original by the Burton travesty. The only thing good about that film is Tim Roth.

[Captain Russ]

There is nothing good about that abomination.

Nothing. (Okay, maybe the Rick Baker effects were top-notch, but if I could erase that film from my memory I would.)

I think that's when I broke up with Burton. We just never saw eye to eye after that. Even when he said he was sorry and gifted me Big Fish, I felt like I had been taken advantage of before, and I would not get my heart curbstomped again.

[Martin]

It's just not all that appealing to me.

I recall being so fucking angar over the tediousness and downright horribleness of the Burton installment that it makes up a large part of my casual avoidance of the property to this day.

Having said that, I'll give it a go sometime in the near future because I am not a little bitch like Squeak.

+5 points for a Baseketball reference.

[Timothy225]

Yeah, Burton's Ape-raham Lincoln at the end pretty much killed any goodwill he had with me. It's one of the many reasons why I HATE revisiting the franchise well for movie ideas long after the franchise has burnt itself out.

[Captain Russ]

Like a candle in the wind, yo.

Shit's deep as helm.

[FilmNerdJamie]

If they made Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and they're actually zombie-monkeys, yeah I'd go see that.

[Timothy225]

I think we'd all have to see that, Jamie. Rob would be first in line.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Of course, there'd be that schmuck who gets infected from poo-slinging and he hides it from the rest of the group.

[Matt]

Rob wants 'Rise of the Planet of the Zombie Fuckbots'.

[FilmNerdJamie]

If the fuckbots look like Alison Brie, then consider me the first dude fucked.

[Captain Russ]

If the fuckbots look like Alison Brie, then consider me Miles Davis.

Wonderful.

[Timothy225]

Of course, there'd be that schmuck who gets infected from poo-slinging and he hides it from the rest of the group.

"Dodge? DODGE? What's wrong? You OK, man?"

"I'm fine, Taylor, I'm fi...oook. OOK. OOK! GRUNT OOK-OOK-AAHH!!! AHHH!!! OOK!!!"

"Those apes got Dodge! Damn them! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!!"

[Matt]

"Dodge? DODGE? What's wrong? You OK, man?"

"I'm fine, Taylor, I'm fi...oook. OOK. OOK! GRUNT OOK-OOK-AAHH!!! AHHH!!! OOK!!!"

"Those apes got Dodge! Damn them! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!!"

Nice 'Wizards' riff

[Timothy225]

Merci, Matt!