New movies undeserving of their own thread - KILLED BY RYAN REYNOLDS

[Timothy225]

And I say I CAN do all of those things.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'd like to see ya try, Mister BIG SHOT!

You watch, you're gonna take one bite of shredded six-string, chip a tooth on a fret, and Danae is gonna roll her eyes and leave your table. Probably walk over to where a certain cigar smoking attorney we all know and love (?) is tucking into some paidakia and a bottle of Topikos Oinos to wash it down. Their eyes will meet, some small talk will follow, then some drinks. More talking, some smiling, and Danae will escort Mr. The Borg out to her place, both of 'em smoking Gurkha Widow Maker Connecticuts all the while.

Meanwhile, you, ya broken-toothed son-of-a-gun, are gonna have a nickel-wound .036 guitar string wrapped around your molars, and a half-chewed cowboy hat on your head. You get dental bills and a sudden hatred for Bluegrass (the Silverhawk AND the style of music), and wish you had some Hotwings.

And Iggy will be giving thanks to Leonidas and the brave 300.

[FilmNerdJamie]

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[Captain Russ]

why

[FilmNerdJamie]

Good question.

[Matt]

Are we really getting a fucking remake of CONDORMAN???

[Captain Russ]

I'd take a Troma-certified A Boy and His Dog at this point. Coming up with something new (old.0, new matte finish!) is pretty hard, you guys.

[Abraham Smashington]

A Boy and his Dog NEEDS A REMAKE.

[Captain Russ]

It's still pretty awesome.

*Exec kicks open attic door, repels down*

JAYDEN SMITH IS THE BOY! THE DOG IS VOICED BY EDDIE MURPHY!

IN 3D!

SUCK MY HOLLYWOOD WOOD, AMERICA! YOU LOVE THIS SHIT!

[Abraham Smashington]

For sure, but I would not be opposed to a remake of it. But not in that way.

[Matt]

It's still pretty awesome.

*Exec kicks open attic door, repels down*

JAYDEN SMITH IS THE BOY! THE DOG IS VOICED BY EDDIE MURPHY!

IN 3D!

SUCK MY HOLLYWOOD WOOD, AMERICA! YOU LOVE THIS SHIT!

Ah HELL nah.

[Abraham Smashington]

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[Abraham Smashington]

Had no idea Jonah Hill was in this. Wtf?

[BillyG]

Yeah, he was cast at the very end of principal.

[FilmNerdJamie]

That bit comes outta nowhere...

[Matt]

If I didn't know the script, that trailer wouldn't do it for me. Knowing the script and knowing the scenes in context, it's great.