New movies undeserving of their own thread - KILLED BY RYAN REYNOLDS

[Abraham Smashington]

ugh. just ugh.

[Captain Russ]

Is he being unwrapped like an action figure?

Is that the new Turbo Man doll?

[Abraham Smashington]

GET SINBAD UP IN THIS BITCH

[FilmNerdJamie]

ugh. just ugh.

*Nasally voice*
"Mom said I had armor out because it's cold!"

[Timothy225]

I must reiterate - THERE ARE OTHER COLORS BESIDES BLACK, DESIGNERS! Seriously, they couldn't throw some chrome or "throw a little hot rod red in there?" Something. Anything. He ain't The Dark Knight, so no reason he's gotta be ALL black.

I mean, I get where they're going with this design-wise, but the all black is bland as fuck. AND WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING HAND? Seriously, the rest of him is armored up the ass, but let's leave the right hand unprotected. His GUN hand?

Back to formula.

[Captain Russ]

It SUX 6000 percent of the dick.

[Matt]

Someone on DERP nailed it: he looks like a SILVERHAWKS cosplayer.

[Captain Russ]

If he were a Silverhawks Cosplayer, he'd have a cowboy hat.

Because everyone knows Bluegrass is the fucking man.

[IggytheBorg]

I always hated that show, but that's a spot on analogy.

[Timothy225]

If he were a Silverhawks Cosplayer, he'd have a cowboy hat.

Because everyone knows Bluegrass is the fucking man.

I always hated that show, but that's a spot on analogy.

Bluegrass? Cowboy hat or no cowboy hat, he pales in comparison to Hotwing.



The man was named after a tasty bar snack, and he had a bird named Gyro, named after a tasty Greek dish! Plus he has flames on his armor! He's a pimped out Silverhawk!

What can Bluegrass bring to the table after that? WHAT?

[B_Metal]

A cowboy hat and a shredding guitar?

[Timothy225]

Can you eat a cowboy hat and a shredding guitar with blue cheese dressing, chased down with an ice cold beer, while flirting with some cute girl in the bar? Can you roast the hat and guitar on a spit, slice 'em up, and serve 'em up in a pita? Will Danae, the hot daughter of Nicholos, the owner of Taverna Ouzo in Monroe, charm you with her feminine wiles as you offer her a bite of your guitar?



I say thee NAY.

[Matt]

I'd buy THAT for a dollar.

[B_Metal]

Can you eat a cowboy hat and a shredding guitar with blue cheese dressing, chased down with an ice cold beer, while flirting with some cute girl in the bar? Can you roast the hat and guitar on a spit, slice 'em up, and serve 'em up in a pita? Will Danae, the hot daughter of Nicholos, the owner of Taverna Ouzo in Monroe, charm you with her feminine wiles as you offer her a bite of your guitar?



I say thee NAY.

And I say I CAN do all of those things.

[IggytheBorg]

OPA!!!