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New movies undeserving of their own thread - KILLED BY RYAN REYNOLDS

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  • If they had left it China maybe I could at least enjoy it a tiny bit, but CGIing it all into North Korea just...yeah because they can make it all the way to Michigan without anyone knowing.

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    • Originally posted by BillyG View Post
      If they had left it China maybe I could at least enjoy it a tiny bit, but CGIing it all into North Korea just...yeah because they can make it all the way to Michigan without anyone knowing.
      You realize N. Korea is not that far from China right?
      "Fuck Rob. Also, he has a podcast called Podcaust. Edgy Holocaust humor lulz indeed." - The Faraci

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      • North Korea has the means to launch GLORIOUS INVASION OF HEATHEN STATES.

        KIM JONG-UN IS A GREAT MANBABY!
        Me quick one want slow

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        • I'm just saying of all the nitpickery he chooses where N. Korea is located? I'm hoping he was jesting and I just missed it.
          "Fuck Rob. Also, he has a podcast called Podcaust. Edgy Holocaust humor lulz indeed." - The Faraci

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          • Picking the most depressed fucking dictatorship in east Asia to be the villain is a chicken-shit move.
            Last edited by Captain Russ; 08-11-2012, 05:57 PM. Reason: more east than south, my bad
            Me quick one want slow

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            • Originally posted by B_Metal View Post
              You realize N. Korea is not that far from China right?
              You realize I mean that North Korea has nowhere near the technology to pull off an invasion like this, and that's what I was referring to. Even China couldn't stealth a massive invasion force like that into middle America.

              I'm not a big fan of the original, and it was definitely dumb, but when it came out it didn't matter because we were all paranoid that Russia really would fuck us up..and the definitely could. It played to nationwide fear. China could have added a tiny bit of that, but the post filming changing to North Korea makes the movie soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much dumber.

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              • And really, the reason this movie looks sooooooooooo bad is because it's taking itself so damn seriously.

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                • It would go more like:

                  NK attacks Seoul.
                  Then the US decimates NK.
                  Then China will be like "Oh wanna be that way?" and attack Taiwan.

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                  • And then I continue to not care.
                    Me quick one want slow

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                    • Originally posted by B_Metal View Post
                      You guys all want this flick to be bad because your communist heathens. Well me Rerb and Uncle Sam will enjoy the movie for you.
                      Moi? A communist? Nyet! Nyet, I say! But then I'd expect that from an Imperialist bourgeois running dog lackey. GO BACK TO YOUR LAND OF BLUE JEANS, COCA COLA, AND SCANTILY DRESSED FEMALES DANCING TO ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC, YANKEE DOODLE DANDY!

                      Originally posted by BillyG View Post
                      You realize I mean that North Korea has nowhere near the technology to pull off an invasion like this, and that's what I was referring to. Even China couldn't stealth a massive invasion force like that into middle America.

                      I'm not a big fan of the original, and it was definitely dumb, but when it came out it didn't matter because we were all paranoid that Russia really would fuck us up..and the definitely could. It played to nationwide fear. China could have added a tiny bit of that, but the post filming changing to North Korea makes the movie soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much dumber.
                      Pretty much all of this. The China switch I could see, as the last thing the producers/film company don't want to hack off 1) a potentially lucrative market to play the film in ("Red Dawn? Big in Beijing, I shit you not!") and 2) China's got SO much cash invested all over the US, including movie studios I'm sure, that somebody raised the possibility of our future economic superpowered overlords giving us some blowback over this.

                      From a logistical standpoint, yeah, damn near improbable China would ever attack us as it'll affect their carefully orchestrated rise to superpower status and no way in hell are they gonna risk that, and fucking impossible that Kim Jong-Un and his posse would even attempt it, despite all their sabre-rattling. They fire off one missile towards us, they know retaliation will be swift and from several directions. They're nuts but not THAT nuts.

                      Originally posted by BillyG View Post
                      And really, the reason this movie looks sooooooooooo bad is because it's taking itself so damn seriously.
                      Troof. If it was tongue-in-cheek, or a parody, I'd probably buy into it. But like you said before, the original flick was a product of its time, where we thought an attack from Russia was inevitable. So much so that Russia was the de facto bad guy throughout most of the 80s (see Top Gun, Invasion USA, etc.). My 4 year old niece having a temper tantrum is more frightening than a potential North Korean invasion.

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                      • It's a fucking popcorn movie. I feel like I'm at derp right now. Admittedly I'm sometimes easily entertained, but I feel like I'm back in my poly-sci classes or something.
                        "Fuck Rob. Also, he has a podcast called Podcaust. Edgy Holocaust humor lulz indeed." - The Faraci

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                        • It's just a stupid looking piece of disposable crap. So it's perfectly in line with the original. That there is no Powers in it means I'll just stay home and booze it up with Death Wish 3 or some shit.

                          I don't care and that is the problem. That and I do not like Josh Peck.
                          Me quick one want slow

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                          • I just want a deer blood drinking scene and a North Korean soldiers taking pictures of each other before being shot by an arrow scene. Maybe a good Hind assault.

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                            • Originally posted by B_Metal View Post


                              It's a fucking popcorn movie. I feel like I'm at derp right now. Admittedly I'm sometimes easily entertained, but I feel like I'm back in my poly-sci classes or something.
                              Point. I'm planning on seeing Expendables 2 this weekend, probably twice (once with Jen, 'cause she's all about Statham, once with all the guys in my family, 'cause we like shooting paper targets), and that flick is as popcorn as all get out.

                              Originally posted by PHEDG View Post
                              I just want a deer blood drinking scene and a North Korean soldiers taking pictures of each other before being shot by an arrow scene. Maybe a good Hind assault.
                              Point. However, no Lea Thompson and Jennifer Grey in the new one, so minus twenty points from Slytherin.

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                              • Originally posted by Captain Russ View Post
                                It's just a stupid looking piece of disposable crap. So it's perfectly in line with the original. That there is no Powers in it means I'll just stay home and booze it up with Death Wish 3 or some shit.

                                I don't care and that is the problem. That and I do not like Josh Peck.


                                Jeffrey Dean Morgan > Powers Boothe. But yeah...
                                BACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACON

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