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  • I don't think this was posted yet, but it does a pretty great job of summing up the film:

    http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/06/...rom_the_gr.php
    Blog Time! http://plasticlovin.blogspot.com/

    Reporter: "Is Ringo Starr the best drummer in the world?"
    John Lennon: "Ringo isn't even the best drummer in The Beatles."

    Forget it Viet, it's Hockentown. - Russ

    Lord Hocken's gaze was that of the Green Horned Mindraper.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by McMeatbag View Post
      The Phantom still rules the ring-wearin' hero roost.
      Billy Zane wasn't wearing what's essentially a futuristic Irish Rugby kit.

      Advantage: Reynolds.
      "The bear is a solitary animal. They like their space. They live in a magic circle. They don't mind if you're, like, a mile away. But if you get inside their circle, they will maul you." - Anonymous

      Comment


      • This one really got a chuckle out of me:

          Spoiler: Lame action scene spoiler! 
        Blake Lively's Dad: Well, Hal, despite you being a total prick, we got the military contract anyways. You are invited to this big fancy party that I'm throwing with the money I ended up saving after I fired all those people.
        Hal Jordan: Awesome. (steals people's drinks even though there's an open bar)
        Hector Hammond's Dad: I am going to think mean things about you, son, and then get on a helicopter.
        Hector Hammond: I'm going to hear those mean things, because of my new ill-defined powers, and then I'm going to break your helicopter while it's in flight.
        (Hector Hammond's Dad gets in helicopter, it takes off, Hector Hammond breaks it with his mind, it crashes at the edge of the party and slides length-wise through it, potentially killing dozens of people)
        Blake Lively: Oh no! The helicopter is getting close to me!
        Hal Jordan: I have finally decided to help! (puts helicopter on elaborate, ostentatious giant Hot Wheels track instead of just stopping it)
        Every Single Other Person at the Party: Christ, what an asshole.
        Blog Time! http://plasticlovin.blogspot.com/

        Reporter: "Is Ringo Starr the best drummer in the world?"
        John Lennon: "Ringo isn't even the best drummer in The Beatles."

        Forget it Viet, it's Hockentown. - Russ

        Lord Hocken's gaze was that of the Green Horned Mindraper.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Bobby Bear View Post
          If everyone elsewhere nit-picking the "logic" of a film whose central conceit involves the ability to harness the power of will via space jewellery held their water for a second, some of them could dig that, too.
          Well, basing an entire franchise around the least imaginative guy getting the power to will anything into existence was mistake numero uno.

          Should have just gone with a Rayner movie. Reynolds would have been a perfect Kyle.
          Me quick one want slow

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Ari View Post
            This one really got a chuckle out of me:

              Spoiler: Lame action scene spoiler! 
            Blake Lively's Dad: Well, Hal, despite you being a total prick, we got the military contract anyways. You are invited to this big fancy party that I'm throwing with the money I ended up saving after I fired all those people.
            Hal Jordan: Awesome. (steals people's drinks even though there's an open bar)
            Hector Hammond's Dad: I am going to think mean things about you, son, and then get on a helicopter.
            Hector Hammond: I'm going to hear those mean things, because of my new ill-defined powers, and then I'm going to break your helicopter while it's in flight.
            (Hector Hammond's Dad gets in helicopter, it takes off, Hector Hammond breaks it with his mind, it crashes at the edge of the party and slides length-wise through it, potentially killing dozens of people)
            Blake Lively: Oh no! The helicopter is getting close to me!
            Hal Jordan: I have finally decided to help! (puts helicopter on elaborate, ostentatious giant Hot Wheels track instead of just stopping it)
            Every Single Other Person at the Party: Christ, what an asshole.
            My favorite part to that entire sequence was how fucking dumb every single person in the crowd was.
            Me quick one want slow

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Bobby Bear View Post
              Reynolds.
              Isn't Billy Zane.

              Advantage: Zane
              Me quick one want slow

              Comment


              • I just enjoyed the pretty pictures.
                "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

                Comment


                • Man that Topless Robot article is the funniest damn thing I've read in a while. It's really helping me come to terms with the fact that my favorite super hero was made into a film that ranks somewhere near Fantastic Four 2 in the pantheon of comic movies.
                  Blog Time! http://plasticlovin.blogspot.com/

                  Reporter: "Is Ringo Starr the best drummer in the world?"
                  John Lennon: "Ringo isn't even the best drummer in The Beatles."

                  Forget it Viet, it's Hockentown. - Russ

                  Lord Hocken's gaze was that of the Green Horned Mindraper.

                  Comment


                  • That is an awesome link, Ari. I'm dying at the "Well guess fucking what? It was Parallax" exchange.
                    Me quick one want slow

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Ari View Post
                      This one really got a chuckle out of me:

                        Spoiler: Lame action scene spoiler! 
                      Blake Lively's Dad: Well, Hal, despite you being a total prick, we got the military contract anyways. You are invited to this big fancy party that I'm throwing with the money I ended up saving after I fired all those people.
                      Hal Jordan: Awesome. (steals people's drinks even though there's an open bar)
                      Hector Hammond's Dad: I am going to think mean things about you, son, and then get on a helicopter.
                      Hector Hammond: I'm going to hear those mean things, because of my new ill-defined powers, and then I'm going to break your helicopter while it's in flight.
                      (Hector Hammond's Dad gets in helicopter, it takes off, Hector Hammond breaks it with his mind, it crashes at the edge of the party and slides length-wise through it, potentially killing dozens of people)
                      Blake Lively: Oh no! The helicopter is getting close to me!
                      Hal Jordan: I have finally decided to help! (puts helicopter on elaborate, ostentatious giant Hot Wheels track instead of just stopping it)
                      Every Single Other Person at the Party: Christ, what an asshole.
                      OK, that made me laugh pretty hard.
                      Originally posted by Martin
                      Who the fuck is Kellan Lutz?
                      Originally posted by gravedigger
                      Basically what I'm saying is that, based on what I've watched so far, we should all listen to Matt more often.
                      Originally posted by Martin
                      And who the FUCK is Peaches Geldof?
                      Kellan Lutz's girlfriend?

                      Comment


                      • Ari convinced me to give this trainwreck 90 minutes of my life when it hits Instant.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Ari View Post
                          Man that Topless Robot article is the funniest damn thing I've read in a while. It's really helping me come to terms with the fact that my favorite super hero was made into a film that ranks somewhere near Fantastic Four 2 in the pantheon of comic movies.
                          Dude, it's no where near as bad as either of the FF movies. SRS.
                          "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                          "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by BillyG View Post
                            Ari convinced me to give this trainwreck 90 minutes of my life when it hits Instant.
                            was thinking pretty much the same thing.
                            Originally posted by Martin
                            Who the fuck is Kellan Lutz?
                            Originally posted by gravedigger
                            Basically what I'm saying is that, based on what I've watched so far, we should all listen to Matt more often.
                            Originally posted by Martin
                            And who the FUCK is Peaches Geldof?
                            Kellan Lutz's girlfriend?

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Buffington Headcheese View Post
                              Dude, it's no where near as bad as either of the FF movies. SRS.
                              Dude, I'd say it ranks somewhere between FF1 & FF2.
                              Blog Time! http://plasticlovin.blogspot.com/

                              Reporter: "Is Ringo Starr the best drummer in the world?"
                              John Lennon: "Ringo isn't even the best drummer in The Beatles."

                              Forget it Viet, it's Hockentown. - Russ

                              Lord Hocken's gaze was that of the Green Horned Mindraper.

                              Comment


                              • Granted you're a GL dork, but in terms of actual directing/acting, NO WHERE NEAR AS BAD.
                                "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                                "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

                                Comment

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