Bring it on down to Green Lanternville...

[Matt]

For the record, I don't want GL to fail in any way, shape, or form. I like (but don't LOVE) the character, I like Ryan Reynolds, and I like Martin Campbell. I also admire that they're apparently really GOING FOR IT in terms of cosmic shit.

I just think that the film has 100% been set up to fail due to the overall timing of the release and the mediocre marketing campaign. They should consider pulling it from its release day and opening it in December for the Christmas season. There'd be almost zero superhero competition at that point AND they'd have a suitable amount of time to get everything polished PERFECTLY and market the hell out of the film.

[Captain Russ]

Except doesn't most of Thor happen on Earth?

What does this have to do with grounding anything about Thor in reality? Reality in Marvel means fuck all. In Batmeng, it means "Hey, he lives in Chicago and deals with real psychos." Thor? It means "Hey a giant sentient suit of armor came down from on high to fistfuck the earth." Thor's a visitor to humdrumland, sent to lay down some phat beetz and get the party started after millions of boring-as-fuck years.

This should help:

Thor = Paul Oakenfold

Earth w/o Thor = Ibiza after an MDMA comedown

Earth w/Thor = Ibiza with Paul Oakenfold

He's the Partyman, man.

There's a fucking RAINBOW BRIDGE and ICE TROLLS and BJORK and shit.

HOW DOES THAT NOT EXCITE YOU? ARE YOU DEAD INSIDE?

[Matt]

ah hell...BJORK????

[Captain Russ]

Kidding, Matt.

She's too old. They'd CG Blake Lively's legs onto her face before she got a job. I'm just saying she's from ICE LAND and her insanity would fit right in with Asgard.

ETA: I meant Frost Giants, not ice trolls.

[Captain Russ]

Also: if they had gone the Donald Blake route, Thor would be Marvel's GL.

For srs.

[BillyG]

I don't think GL will fail. Based on all of Brittany's friends the sentiment is "I have no fucking idea who GL is, and the movie looks crazy, but RYAN REYNOLDS RAPERAPERAPE"

[Matt]

Also: if they had gone the Donald Blake route, Thor would be Marvel's GL.

For srs.

I'm glad they didn't go that route.

[Captain Russ]

I hope it does fantastic business.

And in doing so, I hope it helps usher in more big space shit, and Marvel smells what The Rock is cookin', and we get a Guardians of the Galaxy movie.

Imagine: Starlord, Rocket Raccoon, and fuckin' Gladiator punching the dark matter out of some Kree fuckstains. AND GALACTUS FINALLY MAKES HIS GRAND ENTRANCE, NOT AS A LAUGHING FARTCLOUD.

[Matt]

STARJAMMERS

And if we're really gonna go for it as far as space shit goes, I want my fucking 'Robotech' movie to get made. I want 20 foot tall Zentraedi running around in battle mechs. I want transforming veritechs flying out of a giant robot.

Dammit

[Captain Russ]

lulz @ Starjammers. That title is a Spruce Goose.

Corsair has amazing hair. It's like Vice-era Don Johnson.

[Matt]

X-Men had a chance to go cosmic with Phoenix. Too bad they shit the bed on that whole thing...it would have been pretty damned awesome to see Famke devour a star, wiping out an entire civilization in the process.

[Abraham Smashington]

What does this have to do with grounding anything about Thor in reality? Reality in Marvel means fuck all. In Batmeng, it means "Hey, he lives in Chicago and deals with real psychos." Thor? It means "Hey a giant sentient suit of armor came down from on high to fistfuck the earth." Thor's a visitor to humdrumland, sent to lay down some phat beetz and get the party started after millions of boring-as-fuck years.

This should help:

Thor = Paul Oakenfold

Earth w/o Thor = Ibiza after an MDMA comedown

Earth w/Thor = Ibiza with Paul Oakenfold

He's the Partyman, man.

There's a fucking RAINBOW BRIDGE and ICE TROLLS and BJORK and shit.

HOW DOES THAT NOT EXCITE YOU? ARE YOU DEAD INSIDE?

I want to see the shit outta Thor mang. I just think GL looks way more fun.

[Captain Russ]

It could have gone that route, but the way they set up the X-universe over at Fox felt much more mundane and small scale than what Marvel Studios has established at present.

But yes, The Dark Phoenix Saga was a huge fucking missed opportunity that I still lament.

[Captain Russ]

I want to see the shit outta Thor mang. I just think GL looks way more fun.

I hadn't eaten since eight this morning when I wrote my ragepost.

I am just thankful I live in a time where both are being offered up at the cinema.

[Matt]

Dark Phoenix would have led to the Shi'Ar empire getting involved, which would have led to the brood...alas...