A NOES remake?

[PHEDG]

Nice! First time seeing that trailer. That last shot was freaky. Cataract McNoeyelids!

[Captain Russ]

I WANT A NEW TRAILER. But seriously, no one thought that last shot was neat?

It was a shite's side better than the usual jumpscare bullshit, but this still really feels completely unnecessary.

[Abraham Smashington]

Why must you shit on me Russ? WHY?!?!

I'm just hoping for some new Nightmare flicks. They're my favorite slasher flicks and I'm hoping for a fun flick.

[Captain Russ]

Why must you shit on me Russ? WHY?!?!

I'm just hoping for some new Nightmare flicks. They're my favorite slasher flicks and I'm hoping for a fun flick.

Because I have the constitution of a hamster in it's cage after being given both a fiber substitute and a jump scare?

Syrianly though, the only reason I have reservations on this new one is that so far, the Revamp (HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo) Train has not yet delivered a certifiable hit.

Now I enjoyed each of the reduxes on the classics that I've seen (barring that Shitoween movie by the Musk King of Farttown), they haven't left much of anything in terms of a stand-out "HOLY FUCK THAT MADE MY WEINER DIE 1000 TIMES" genre moment to relish and replay (see: Depp's redbedsplosion/junkyard superhero showdown/goofy-as-shit hearing aid death/Brecken Meyer's only good moment in cinematic history, Jason shishkebabin' the teens fuckin' upstairs/machete to the handicapped/cryoskullcrush/stopping Crispin Glover from ever dancing again).

I sadly even extend this to Friday the 13th's redux (Though no one will ever take away "Perfect Nipple Placement" Girl. NO ONE.). While it laid the foundation for something promising, the kills were not at the level they could have been and the ending was 10 lbs. of dumb in a 5 lb. bag.

Aside from Kelly Leak playing THE molester in a sweater, I have heard/seen nothing to change my position that this will be much more than a mediocre attempt to reinvigorate the brand name.

*pulls the Larry David card*

Having said that, I'll still go see it, but I'm going in with diminished expectations.

[Abraham Smashington]

In this situation you're the granny and I'm the young ruffian.



All true points, but I still dig on F13 because it a decent jumping off point to us receiving some non MPAA fucked with kills in the sequel. And I don't mind the TCM remake. Minus the aforementioned non nipples on Biel the whole time.

[Captain Russ]

If I'm the old woman kicking you young bastards who leave bags of flame-shits on my front porch in the nuts, then that is an accurate summary of points.

[Abraham Smashington]

New poster courtesy of /film

[Abraham Smashington]

I still cannot fucking wait for this.

[Captain Russ]

Looks like they set-dressed Haley's action figure for that poster.

Fuck, I want to like this, but I'm keeping all enthusiasm as tempered as possible. Maybe even bordering on disappointment.

I don't want the same hit-it-and-quit-it mentality to plague another of the great horror franchises.

Again I say: FUCK.

[nerdious dorkus]

I WAS excited about this but I don't know anymore. I'm fencing at the moment. Its needs to be straight up horror and I don't think the remake or any new horror films are capable of that.

Unless they're AZN directors, because they're pretty fucked up.

[Abraham Smashington]

GODDAMMIT. I just want this one to do moderately well before we get an awesome version. Shit, even Part 3 trumps the first one now. So maybe it'll take a sequel to get an awesome movie.

[Abraham Smashington]

Only AZN directors that wear eye patches.

[Ari]

I'm still waiting on Friday Part 2.

[Abraham Smashington]

I still dig the first one, warts and all.

[nerdious dorkus]

So the Friday remake is worth buying?