Lampanelli and Ron White killed me.
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Hide your kids.
Hide your wife.
It's Assduckman.
In the beginning, Assduckman was in fact a man and a woman. But then at a three-legged race at the couples retreat, a white jamaican man was trying to build the perfect nuclear-powered bong, and a meltdown engulfed the entire island. Instead of dying from exposure like normal human beings, this husband and wife were instead morphed into Assduckman.*
Assduckman can still be seen in the wilds of North Korea:
Assduckman is also a part of a secret Hollywood Harem (don't tell anyone):
Assduckman has perfected time travel, but is reluctant to share his secrets with the general public. Instead, he finds the time to be Assduckinspected by greek women in wheat fields:
*This post was not at all a part of the global Assduckman conspiracy to become the first Assduckman in the White House.
Me quick one want slow
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Been there."DO. DO lots of cocaine. DO."
- Relationship Guru Matt.
Check out my music, if you please:
http://soundcloud.com/musicisgreen
http://cmillermusic.tumblr.com/
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