50 Shades of Grey Sex Scene Generator

[Matt]

http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

Funny as hell.

Inserting a barbie doll into my quivering mound of love pudding got me spattering beige slime faster than snot off a whip. Now, I've seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his bald avenger made my fallopian fish stock trickle like a slavering dog. Leaving my panties sunny side up on the floor was the least of my worries as his washington monument plunged deeper into my oxo orifice. By now, my moose knuckle was salivating like Wayne Rooney's dick in an OAP home. Hours of plowing like this would leave any girl's furburger looking like a darts team's goalkeeper, and I was no different!

[Timothy225]

http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

Funny as hell.

I got the following:

"When he removed his muffbuster from my brown eye, he was pleasantly surprised to see a corn-eyed butt snake staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to gobble the butt nugget off his all-beef thermometer. With his bald avenger hammering deep into my gaping slime hole, the sensation of his blind butler smashing my cervix made me quake like Muhammad Ali on a tumble dryer. The pounding makes me spout my minge monsoon all over his long-dong silver. The unrelenting orgasms from his ramrod fucking my shamevelope made me come so hard, I began sweating like a midget nun at a penguin shoot. He munched on my meaty hangers, even though I'd been surfing the crimson tide for the best part of a week."

Fuckin' dying over here!

[Abraham Smashington]

"I awoke the next morning with my one slice toaster still trickling. I thought it was over but his cunt stretcher had other ideas. My tampon tunnel was trembling like jelly. The mixture of butt nugget and ectoplasm in my puckered brown eye created the delicious rectoplasm that he was so fond of. Now, I've seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his devil's bagpipe made my spaff seep like a jizz waterfall. The fucking makes me spit my vertical moisture all over his giggle stick."


"cunt stretcher". yep. I like it.

[B_Metal]

The seemingly never-ending streams of Da Vinci load emanating from his womb raider soon had me coated like a plasterer's radio. Hours of pounding like this would leave any girl's purple cabbage looking like an over inflated dinghy, and I was no different! The mixture of Mr. Hanky and penis pudding in my turd-herder created the delicious sphincter sauce that he was so fond of. By now, my birth cannon was haemorrhaging like a leaky tap. Within no time, I could feel the shitty penis pudding slobbering from my fart valve and all over my sugared almond.

I could see my wife reading this shit. Lulz

[Captain Russ]

This is almost as bad as the real thing.

Almost.

[Ingrid]

Good lord, if the real book is anything like this, then no thank you. My co-worker keeps insisting, "you HAVE to read this before you're honeymoon!" Really? Cause, I think I know what I'm doing without reading about "He munched on my meaty hangers, even though I'd been surfing the crimson tide for the best part of a week."

Christ on a cracker. That shit is awful.

[Timothy225]

Good lord, if the real book is anything like this, then no thank you. My co-worker keeps insisting, "you HAVE to read this before you're honeymoon!" Really? Cause, I think I know what I'm doing without reading about "He munched on my meaty hangers, even though I'd been surfing the crimson tide for the best part of a week."

Christ on a cracker. That shit is awful.

(I kid, I kid. You're awesome!)

"The thrusting makes me surge my vertical moisture all over his skin flute. After having my Quimcy, M.E. pounded, he then proceeded to thrust my chocolate starfish. Within no time, I could feel the shitty creamy load seeping from my vintage golf bag and all over my fishy flaps. The unrelenting orgasms from his Vince cable slamming my wunder down under made me come so hard, I began sweating like a gypsy near an unlocked shipping container. Hours of thrusting like this would leave any girl's velcro triangle looking like a shot cat, and I was no different!"

[B_Metal]

Most of these are great but the fascination with Hitler's helmets is a bit concerning lol.

[Matt]

It's the fascination with butt nuggets that gets me. Ick.

[B_Metal]

Yeah, that just...... No thanks.