Lamebook

[Lisa]

Dude. Cut your fucking ties. Unfriend her post haste. Sucks she has your number.

Seriously. She sounds like a deranged nut-job. A totally illiterate and uneducated deranged nut-job, but I digress. Unfriend her, block her, and if you have no particular attachment to your number, change it.

[Howard]

He hasn't responded Lisa. I think it's too late. She's got him. Poor bastard.

[Abraham Smashington]

Dude. Cut your fucking ties. Unfriend her post haste. Sucks she has your number.

I'm sad I stuck my penis in her.

[Howard]

I hope you wrapped it. Talk about tainted love.....

[Abraham Smashington]

Here's my response to her:

The Bible is just a book. It's not literal truth, it's fiction with some fact thrown in for good measure. It's a bunch of dudes writing about shit they may or may not have experienced. And usually YEARS after the fact. And I have absolutely no problem with people having beliefs, I believe that aliens exist. I believe that it's butter. But they are not FACTS.


You may as well follow AESOP'S FABLES or THE DA VINCI CODE. Same idea (well not Da Vinci, but TOM HANKS!), but with cuter animals. Nothing I can say will have any effect on what you believe just like nothing you can say will make me believe that these are not the ramblings of a crazy person. Good luck with your new mission on rejecting Satan. I hope you can put in a good word for me. After all, we had sex. And I'm assuming that's a sin since we weren't married, but I didn't finish inside, so maybe Jesus will give me a pass *fingers crossed*. But a word to the wise if you want people to take you seriously:, don't type in all capital letters, try to form coherent thoughts and don't babble about Satan.

[Howard]

Damnit. I'm trying to spread rep so I can rep Rob again.

[Howard]

Although, you opened yourself up for more texts Rob. She will now feel compelled to explain how her past sins were washed away when she was reborn.

[Lisa]

Damnit. I'm trying to spread rep so I can rep Rob again.

Got it covered. "I believe that it's butter" killed me!

Howard's right about one thing, though, Rob - the more you respond to her, the more crazy she'll get. Gotta cut them ties. Snip snip.

[Abraham Smashington]

Fine by me. This is fun now.

[BillyG]

Well, if she is Catholic she's gonna rot in hell for you pulling out. WAIT AGO ROB!

[BillyG]

Also, this is why I am fairly picky about who I friend on Facebook. Hell I removed a friend because of his whining about the NBA playoffs and bitching that the Cavaliers are not a "real" team. Even that was too much nonsense for me.

[Abraham Smashington]

YES!

[Lisa]

Fine by me. This is fun now.

Okay, true, it really is fun. But be careful - I just don't want her to sneak into your house and murder you with a sharpened crucifix or anything, or hold your face down into a bowl of holy water till the bubbles stop. Something Catholic and gruesome like that.

[Howard]

Also, this is why I am fairly picky about who I friend on Facebook. Hell I removed a friend because of his whining about the NBA playoffs and bitching that the Cavaliers are not a "real" team. Even that was too much nonsense for me.

But they aren't a real team. Be my friend again.

[B_Metal]

Here's my response to her:

I disagree with your assessment of the bible but setting that aside chick does sound like a nutbag. Change your number before you get marytrd by proxy.