Lamebook

[V]

she wasn't always like this. In fact some of the things she did to me back in the day would probably have her go to hell according to her beliefs now.

Oh... they will. Amazing how people find religion only after they've done things that they are sure will condemn them.

There's a special place in hell for them... and that's good. I don't want to see them at the monthly BBQ.

[Abraham Smashington]

3 girls I have slept with have turned to Jesus. And not like "hey, I dig on Jesus" but like "YOU WILL GO TO HELL IF YOU DON'T DIG ON JESUS"

1 girl I slept with was a huge Jesus freak until we had this epic 8 hour conversation. Afterwards she left her church, got an abortion and became a hippy.

So the moral of the story is, I just may be the Antichrist.

[V]

3 girls I have slept with have turned to Jesus. And not like "hey, I dig on Jesus" but like "YOU WILL GO TO HELL IF YOU DON'T DIG ON JESUS"

1 girl I slept with was a huge Jesus freak until we had this epic 8 hour conversation. Afterwards she left her church, got an abortion and became a hippy.

So the moral of the story is, I just may be the Antichrist.

Dear Sir;

I find your ideas intriquing, and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[nerdious dorkus]

Note to self: DO NOT SLEEP WITH ROB.

[Abraham Smashington]

Note to self: DO NOT SLEEP WITH ROB.

hahahahahahah

[nerdious dorkus]

Wait, did Lesley believe in God before she met you?

[gravedigger]

How do those SAT questions work- George Constanza is to lesbians as Rob Hughes is to devout Christians?

[Lisa]

Rob! That was legend! Awesome!

[Abraham Smashington]

3 girls I have slept with have turned to Jesus. And not like "hey, I dig on Jesus" but like "YOU WILL GO TO HELL IF YOU DON'T DIG ON JESUS"

1 girl I slept with was a huge Jesus freak until we had this epic 8 hour conversation. Afterwards she left her church, got an abortion and became a hippy.

So the moral of the story is, I just may be the Antichrist.

FUCK YES. OK. So one of the 3 girls that went all JESUS posted this video on her FB with a status of:
please forgive me if you can't follow this message. i guess i speak this way a lot. this message rock

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So I posted "are you fucking serious?"

I then recieved this in my messages:

I'm writing a inspirational biography. Satan has been ever so present from my 1st memory (age 2) until just a few months ago when I was Saved. He tried possessing me and my son and the word of the bible has made him shutter! that is my weapon. Dylan use to get night terrors, convulsing...screaming yelling stop, nooooo, stop, noooo etc....and lately i tested it with the word of the bible and my son's demons literally dropped to the word of Christ. It is TRUE. day vs night, good vs bad, on and on....Satan lives here on earth but so does Jesus. and Jesus always wins the battle. Many many storys of Satan vs God will be in my book and it will be published. Good luck on your journey

and then this

YEAH....DEAD SERIOUS. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE WITH SATAN....WORMS EATING AWAY AT YOUR FLESH OF YOUR RESURRECTED BODY BURNING AWAY IN ETERNITY IN THE LAKE OF FIRE OR.....PEACEFUL LIFE OF ABSOLUTELY NO TURMOIL BUT WITH ALL OF PEACE OF JESUS CHRIST. ITS YOUR CHOICE. To each our own, CHOICE.

Then she fucking called me to ask if Satan is inside of me and to proceed to tell me that Satan was inside of her. I wanted to scream I AM THE ANTICHRIST AND I DID THIS TO YOU(because why the fuck not at this point, it makes about the same amount of sense) but I'm in a fucking meeting and people were looking at me so I just hungup. Then one of them asked what was wrong because the face I made looked like I wanted to yell something... hahahah

[BillyG]

Why didn't you tell her the truth? It wasn't Satan. It was...

[Abraham Smashington]

OMG. Now I'm getting text messages from her.

[Abraham Smashington]

Exact wording/spelling of said text messages:

if ur curious why... Satan wouldnt allow me to get out of bed or eat for 2 weeks last year and was convincing me to kill myself so he could my sou

sould. he also hasd tried working through Dylan and others. he knows its the end of his days and is not fond of that. he wants every soull he can get to

rot with him for eternity

[Howard]

People like that seriously creep me out.

[Abraham Smashington]

GET THE WINCHESTER BOYS IN HERE.

[Howard]

Dude. Cut your fucking ties. Unfriend her post haste. Sucks she has your number.