Things that will make any movie better

[B_Metal]

149. Apparently the line "You're so cool Brewster"

[Captain Russ]

150. Psychotic Danny Devito

[teledork]

151. Uma Thurman's head in a box.

[B_Metal]

152. Uma Thurman's box on your head.

[Timothy225]

152. Uma Thurman's box on your head.

Mmph! Mmph mmph mmmph, mmmph, ma-mmmph, mmph!

[teledork]

Sorry...that shoulda been Gwyneth Paltrow's head in a box. As in Se7en. I've always felt every movie would be improved if it included Gwyneth Paltrow's head in a box. Best part of Contagion was her kicking it ten minutes in.

I blame my previous cockup on working too many days in a row and that extra couple of beers....and no sammiches in over a week.

[B_Metal]

That and you were thinking about going neck deep in Uma's box.

[teledork]

The things I'd do in that box

[Matt]

Wiggle your big toe, teledork.

[teledork]

nomnomnom

[Abraham Smashington]

153. A setting in a cyberpunk world that is dirty, patched together, and in no way clean.

[Nathan]

154. Dabney Coleman

[Matt]

155. Sexy Sax Man.

[Captain Russ]

156. Vuvuzela soundtrack.

[Abraham Smashington]

EVERYTHING COMPILED SO FAR:

1. Jeff Fahey
2. robots
3. car chases
4: Tits
5: Any scene depicting oral sex.
6: A banquet that ends up in a killing spree.
7. Michael Ironside
8. Massive explosions
9. Excessive gore
10. Gary Cole
11. A synth score
12. Well executed pop-culture references
13. Lens flare
14. CGI
15. Aerosmith power ballad
16: Guns
17: More guns
18: Ray Stevenson using all those guns.
19. Tom Arnold
20. inappropriate comedy involving old people/dwarves/mentally retarded people
21. Exploding barrels
22. An asshole police captain
23. Alan Rickman
24. Drinking from a flask
25: a warp core breach
26: a barfight with Patrick Swayze
27: a barfight with Don Swayze
28. Tom Arnold coked up
29. Christopher Walken
30. matte paintings
31. Gene Hackman
32. Robert Duvall
33. 1970's Hoffman/De Niro/Pacino
34: 1960's Michael Caine
35: 1990's Anthony Hopkins
36: Any era Richard Harris
37. A heist
38. Computers with big flashy buttons and lights
39. A poster done by Drew Struzen
40. A soundtrack by John Williams
41. Michael Wincott
42. Clancy Brown
43. Bruce Campbell
44. A simple misunderstanding that blows up into an international threat
45. Physical SFX - Stan Winston style
46. Brian Dennehy.
47. Excessive yet appropriate for the scene swearing
48. Danny Trejo
49. Sam Elliot
50. A female character that can more than hold her own in a man's world
51. aliens
52. an animated credit sequence
53. Bruce Lee
54. Glorious amounts of kung fu action
55. Ninjas. Lots and lots of ninjas.
56. A Sergio Leone score.
57. Godzilla or a Godzilla-sized monster laying waste to a city
58. Pool party with lots of scantily clad folks
59. Rowdy Roddy Piper
60. broken bones
61. dismemberments
62. rotoscoping
63. Vernon Wells
64. Vampires. Near Dark, Bela Lugosi or Christopher Lee types, not those Twilight sissymarys.
65. Alien invasions
66. A faithful dog helping to save the day
67. Kat Dennings
68. A speech by Bill Pullman
69. The ghost of Charles Nelson Reilly as the voice of reason.
70. That pivotal sequence when Kat Dennings decides to clean off a nude Amy Adams. With her tongue.
71. A knife fight
72. A profusely sweating and swearing James Tolkan.
73. Epic thumb-war over an exploding volcano.
74. Talking sandwich.
75. Mushroom clouds.
76. Set in the future.
77. Set in an alternate reality
78. Set in space.
79. Alec Baldwin's hypnotic chest-hair.
80. Drunk Yoda in heat.
81. Buddies that are cops or cops that are buddies, either/or.
82. Lo Mang (The Toad) in a supporting role, probably getting killed off in the second act.
83. Gordon Liu in an extended training sequence.
84. Bad dubbing.
85. James Hong
86. An unstoppable killing machine leaving carnage and mayhem in it's wake.
87. The Creature from the Black Lagoon. He's over due for a comeback.
88. Our own Jake, caught in the middle of a firefight, screaming "What the FUCK is going on here?"
89. Brion James
90. Training montage, preferably one featuring keyboard action in the music.
91. Ioan Grufford and Sam Worthington have a face-to-face wooden acting-off.
92. Cole Hauser, a .45, and a six pack
93. Barbarian hordes laying waste to a city
94. Bridget Fonda - she's been gone too long
95. Pack of werewolves
96. Jane Fonda beaten senselessly with meat-sticks by 'Nam vets.
97. John Glover as Lucifer
98. Nondescript title cards (the vaguer the better!)
99. Kyle Chandler as Adam West as...BATMAN!
100. Don Cheadle
101. Mechanized exoskeletons.
102. Dogfight banter (the more call-signs and technobabble the better.)
103. gratuitous topless women having pillow fights
104. Elric of Melnibone.
105. Powers Boothe
106. An homage to Russ Meyer (similar to B_Metal's point #103, above. For two hours at least).
107. THOUSANDS OF SQUIBS.
108. THOUSANDS OF SQUIDS!
109. Jeffrey Wright
110. Billy Campbell as The Rocketeer
111. Billy Campbell the murderous politician that makes no goddamn sense
112. William Riker
113. parkour
114. Michael Fuckin' Keaton
115. The destruction of parkour thugs, preferably via explosion.
116. Vale...Vicki Vale...Vi-vi-vi-Vicki Vale.
117. A script by Quentin Tarantino
118. "Directed by Stuart Gordon."
119. Body horror.
120. Gene "heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's electric" Hackman.
121. Blaring klaxons.
122. Darkened corridors.
123. A scene where the heroes take a moment to reflect prior to battle.
124. Dirty scummy herpes sidewalk infested 1970s New York
125. Main character fighting guys one on one while 38 of their closest crime buddies wait their turn to battle.
126. The Rick Baker transformation scene where Wilford Brimley turns into Cookie Monster after one too many cookies...
127. A terrific "just before shit gets real" speech. Think Braveheart, Return of the King, Henry V, 300, etc.
128. "Samuel L. Bronkowitz presents"
129. Gene Hackman.
130. A scene where someone marks the locations of important events on a huge map, pauses for a moment, then connects the dots to find they form either an arrow or ominous shape of some kind (subsequent awestruck pause and panic laden phone call optional.)
131. THE PORTMAN's smile (the only decent parts of the prequels)
132. Apparently WillSmiff
133. Superimposed Map Sequence. You know it when you see it. Grand and sweeping music thunders as the lines move across the globe, either establishing the relocation of the central badass (or team of badasses) to a new locale, or signaling the catastrophic spread of the central threat.
Examples include: Indiana Fucking Jones, The Rockafuckingteer
134. A fight scene done in a wide shot in one take
135. Surf music
136. "Tequila" by The Champs.
137. A slo-motion sex scene in zero-gravity
138. A slo-motion sex scene in zero-gravity which culminates in a John Woo style gunfight...
139. Not being Willy Wonka
140. Carl Winslow. Pimp.
141. John Landis cameo.
142. George C. Scott getting hit by a football in the groin.
143. Stephen Colbert as Oliver Stone.
144. Ted Raimi cameo.
145. Wailing sax
146. Epic sideburns
147. Lead character moment where he realizes he's too old for this shit/all he's given up/his doom awaits just up ahead
148. Natasha Henstridge boobs
149. Apparently the line "You're so cool Brewster"
150. Psychotic Danny Devito
151. Gwyneth Paltrow's head in a box.
152. Gwyneth Paltrow's box on your head
153. A setting in a cyberpunk world that is dirty, patched together, and in no way clean.
154. Dabney Coleman
155. Sexy Sax Man.
156. Vuvuzela soundtrack.