What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[B_Metal]

Tis truth. But Ol' Jack is full of sage wisdom.

[BillyG]

Really need a coffee table book of Jack Burton quotes. Title?

"Heroism In Cowardice"

[B_Metal]

I like that, a lot.

[V]

Make it so.

[Captain Russ]

Also saw Scream Fore!.

It was fucking retarded, but went so far past retarded at the end that I ended up embracing the stupid.

Holy defenestration, Batman. Emma Roberts deserves the MTV Movie Award for Most Hilarious Grievous Bodily Harm. Jesus.

[Bobby Bear]

Last night, I'm watching the last half hour of Transformers 2, killing time until Game of Thrones starts.... when I came to a realization that I never really appreciated before....

it occurred to me last night that the design of the film robots also made them extremely vulnerable, too. All those gears, pipes, wires, etc. were on display for all to see, and I'm watching soldiers unloading AR-15s and small arms into the robots, taking them out by hitting their innards. It'd be like going into battle with your intestines on display. Just because....

The problem is simple, and something I'm seeing more and more in sci-fi and superhero blockbuster flicks - the tendency to overdesign characters in an attempt to try and be more realistic/real world, often to the point where the character often loses his identity, and a lot of times IMHO, isn't really necessary.

Brilliant points, sir. If you ask me, that's crying out to be turned into a piece of stand-up, and not just because it would enable the comic to segue into some vintage homage action...

Do you ever notice the way Autobots drive like this?
*mimes a really overcautious, boring driver who sits way too close to the windshield glass whilst humming an annoying tune*
And your Decepticons? Well, they tend to drive a lit-tle something like this...
*mimes a really relaxed driver whose chair is so far back it's almost horizontal whilst humming an annoying tune*
Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?

'TimeCop'. If you haven't seen this, watch it now. Still holds up in my opinion.

That flick has possibly the greatest Oirish Cop Stereotype ever put on the silver screen. It's been a while since I've seen it, but he does essentially say "show's oh-ver, folks! Nuthin' ta see heeere!" after the body falls out of the tower block, doesn't he?

And this was followed by Dead Alive.

As good a title as that is, I always preferred our name for it: Braindead!!!

[Abraham Smashington]

Also saw Scream Fore!.

It was fucking retarded, but went so far past retarded at the end that I ended up embracing the stupid.

Holy defenestration, Batman. Emma Roberts deserves the MTV Movie Award for Most Hilarious Grievous Bodily Harm. Jesus.

Was that Sydney's cousin? If so, SHE WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE.

[V]

That flick has possibly the greatest Oirish Cop Stereotype ever put on the silver screen. It's been a while since I've seen it, but he does essentially say "show's oh-ver, folks! Nuthin' ta see heeere!" after the body falls out of the tower block, doesn't he?

Nope... Bugs Bunny.

"If my friend Rocky was in this oven... would I turn the gas on, like this?"

"Ach... ye moight, rabbit... ye moight!"

[Captain Russ]

Was that Sydney's cousin? If so, SHE WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE.

I went in with the expectation that it was going to be an atrocity. I'm sorry you actively rooted for the film's success.

It was the horrid, shrill ACTING! that won me over. Seriously, her eponymous scene was fantastic cinemastication (if they get to say "screamquel" I get to butcher the language too).

What can I say besides I have bad taste in women.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a bi-polar biker chick that sounds like Fran Drescher on the southside of town. I think she may just like me for my money and not my rugged good looks. She's perfect.

[Matt]

And our paper gave it 4 stars...wow.

[Captain Russ]

Scream 4 is Emma Roberts' Star 80.

[Bobby Bear]

"Ach... ye moight, rabbit... ye moight!"

Ah!

Merci beaucoup!

[Martin]

The Thing - Completely forgot Mr. fucking Boogedy is in this. Also, Keith David - under appreciated cool black dude in movies. Delroy Lindo is good, but lets give Keith David more love beyond just his voice.

Big Trouble In Little China - I really appreciate that my mom let me watch this as many times as I wanted in my childhood. It obviously molded me into the man I am today. I love how the floating eye monster and the mutated orangutan are never given the slightest bit of reference. Just like "oh shit floating eye SHOOT IT" and nobody thinks anything else of it...but when in the sewer ol' Jack Burton flips his shit at the wormfish that eats one of the red shirts.

Well those, along with Blade Runner, are my 3 favorite movies ever. The Thing is my perfect horror flick, and Big Trouble is my favorite movie ever. Combining fun, wuxia/Hk movies, Krt Russell and Chinese Black Magic, it also feature both Gerald Okamura AND Al Leong, hence a stamp of AWESOMENESS approval. It's the movies that sent me to Kung Fu school and made me watch all the HK classics.

Strange foreign horror night last night.

Sheitan and Dead Alive.

Sheitan is a French film starring a whole bunch of dumbasses, a hot girl for a penchant for associating with insane people, and Vincent Cassel in what must be his strangest fucking performance to date, here playing the greasy nutbar of a groundskeeper in Joseph.

It may have been because I was at the easel for a good eight hour stretch or the lack of sleep, or maybe even both, but the final image had me laughing for a solid minute after the fact.

It's an absolute mess, but one who lacks coherence should be able to follow along quite nicely.

And this was followed by Dead Alive. I'll admit to not seeing it in much aside from a butchered print a long time ago, and at that point didn't really enjoy it. It's a completely impressive splatterhouse here, and the finale is amazing in its inventiveness, but overall it was little more than a showcase for gory spectacle. A younger me would have loved it on such merit alone, but now it feels like the most out of place things are the absurdist humor stylings, as they fall flat while the gross-out stuff and Lionel's bogan Uncle Les carry the more enjoyable moments.

Impressive nonetheless as a monument to practical effects work and sheer audacity.

Sheitan is crap, but how can you not love the karate priest WHO KICK ASS FOR THE LORD??????????????????????????

As good a title as that is, I always preferred our name for it: Braindead!!!

It's actually the official name everywhere BUT the USA! And I still want to adopt a Sumatran Rat-Monkey, but the Wife won't let me.... I feel like Nunziata.

[Martin]

So I saw:

Scream 4

Even for free, I kept looking at my watch...

The Switch

Was playing, and despite having Jason Bateman and Patrick Wilson, it was was bad as I expected it to be. Jennifer Aniston is by far the worst actress in Hollywood. She's Jennifer Aniston playing Jennifer Aniston playing Jennifer Aniston in EVERY SINGLE MOVIE SINCE FRIENDS.

[V]

I watched 'The 13th Warrior' again last night... several times.

My mother always used to tell me something, and up until a few years ago... I thought she was crazy.

She'd say 'Boy... you don't belong here. You were born a thousand years too late.'

Who knew?