Ehhh, I was wrong. Again. And again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again.
Oh well.
*walks on by and gets plastered by a steel chair*
"Fuck Rob. Also, he has a podcast called Podcaust. Edgy Holocaust humor lulz indeed." - The Faraci
100 years of Guantanamo Bay in my eyes. And it starts with the excellent Rob Riggle and you get to see Ken Jeong. But it's Gitmo, remember? It held false hopes. It raped me with it. Damn you Furry Vengeance. With a title like that, you could have been a gay porn movie, and I would have watched you twice in a row rather than this Brendan Fraser abomination. Even my recent gastroenteritis was funnier than this.
Hackers: I understand the love for this silly, silly movie. I missed out not seeing it until now though.
A Man Apart: Mediocre as hell.
Tyson: Great doc. Feel bad for the guy.
Blue Thunder: Air Wolf is Blue Thunder's bitch.
Justice League: New Frontier: Not a bad effort from the animated DC films, but I really miss Justice League Unlimited.
Inland Empire: Why do I even try and watch a 3 hour David Lynch film? UGH!
Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker: Goofy as hell, but enjoyable. I've always liked the Batman Beyond series. It gave us Grump Wayne after all.
The Hand that Rocks the Cradle: It was like a good Lifetime movie, which means it was like a crappy regular movie.
The Thing w/Two Heads: Epic pile of pure shit. So very bad, and not even in a funny way. Just awful.
Cat's Eye: Decent anthology film. No Creepshow, but I found the stories to be ok. The last one was the best, the middle one was the least memorable (I can't remember it right now) and the first was darn good too.
The Hunger: Bowie and Sarandon boobs. Neat vampire film. I dug it.
Arena: In the future, aliens fight each other in space. Then a human fights them and wins. The end.
Excalibur: I fucking love this movie so much. Best King Arthur film ever made. PERIOD.
Chaplin: Great film on Charlie Chaplin. Really made me feel like crap for not seeing more of his films yet.
Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome: Started off solid, then the Ewoks joined Max and ruined the film.
Driving Miss Daisy: That bitch got drove!
Soapdish: Really not for me. I hate soaps, so I never really connected to it. Good performances though.
The Big Sleep: I blinked so I missed one of the many intricate plot details. Still, Bogart & Bacall were excellent even if I'm not really sure who killed what.
Return of the Living Dead 3: So much better that part 2, but still pales in comparison to the original.
Gods & Monsters: Fantastic film all around. What the hell happened to Fraser? Furry Vengeance, Brendan? Really? I hope a squirrel bites off your prick.
Marathon Man: Cool conspiracy type film, with Dustin Hoffman going from being the movie's bitch to owning it. Highly recommend this one.
Dead Man Walking: I kinda felt bad for a racist, murdering rapist. Then he died.
Klute: Jane Fonda was a prostitute and she banged Keifer's dad. Damn good flick.
The House on Sorority Row: Take Friday the 13th and add a little Halloween and you have this film. That's not entirely a bad thing either.
Malcom X: I AM MALCOM X
Caddyshack: Classic.
Dracula A.D. 1972: Hippies bring back Chris Lee and Tarkin fights him. Typical Hammer.
Night Moves: Hackman is awesome. What a fucking great ending. Nude Melanie Griffith FTW!
Superfly: Superfly wasn't really all that super, and he never flew. I was sad.
Outland: Fuck yes! Connery as a space marshal on Io! Fucking awesome movie!
Heist: Great robbery film thanks once again to Hackman, Rockwell, DeVito, and a soli supporting cast. Nice and twisty.
4D Man: 4D Man scoffs at all this 3D bullshit.
Innerspace: I love Dante, but I hate Short, so I was conflicted here. It has it's moments, but I really can't stand Short.
I also watched Arthur recently. Dudley Moore fucking killed me. Liza Minnelli killed my boner. But I nearly pissed myself laughing.
Okay, now I have to beat you up - NOBODY mocks Liza in "Arthur"! It doesn't matter that Liza's not the most gorgeous creature, but don't you think she was fabulous in that movie? I mean, seriously, she was awesome! "Wouldn't it be funny if he called me?" "I was in the neighborhood. Of course it took me two trains, three buses and a cab to get to the neighborhood.... nice place you have here. I like a living room I can land a plane in."
2012 Avatar Theme - LADIES FROM THE GOLDEN AGE OF HOLLYWOOD. January: Ava Gardner.
Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil. So goddamn funny and gory and just good. The director came up with Alan Tudyk afterward for a Q&A. Josh and Sebastian from CHUD did good work. Great dudes.
EDIT: I still need to see HTTYD. Gonna fix that soon.
"Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let's go in this bedroom, and we'll engage in some homosexual acts. You'll find you like it." - Rep. Ken Peterson, R-Billings
"You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one." - Don Draper
~*RATED BEST POSTER OF 2011 - CHIPOTLE FAN FORUMS*~
Arena: In the future, aliens fight each other in space. Then a human fights them and wins. The end.
I unashamedly love that movie. It reminds me of being a kid, going to the video shop after school most days and staring at those cheap (but great) 80's B Sci-Fi/horror VHS's, believing the films would make good on their amazing covers.
Also, no less than 3 Deep Space Nine familiar faces and Claudia Christian in what is, essentially, Space Rocky. What's not to love?
"The bear is a solitary animal. They like their space. They live in a magic circle. They don't mind if you're, like, a mile away. But if you get inside their circle, they will maul you." -Anonymous
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