What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Matt]

'The Island' was shit, but it didn't provoke the level of hatred that the other ones did. I don't honestly know why...perhaps it benefited from low expectations or something.

And Megan Fox is pretty to look at, nothing more. She should be in the background in a non-speaking role, like window dressing.

[Matt]

Actually, Megan should go into porn.

[Captain Russ]

It couldn't be any worse than giving it up to Brian Austin Greene...

[V]

Actually, Megan should go into porn.

Actually, I'm not sure she even has the talent for that.

Unless all holes are filled, then we can revel in the blessed silence... figuratively speaking, of course.

[Captain Russ]

Aaaaaaand I retract my previous assumption.

[Captain Russ]

Nerdious, my friend...

I would prefer to shove my manhood in a Salad Shooter™ and pull the trigger myself...

Megan Fox is the antithesis of what a movie star should be. She is well and truly talentless(save for the obviously stellar cocksucking skills that earned her a film role), and more plastic than a Barbie™ doll... but without the people skills.

I rather think I'd have more interesting conversations with a retarded clam... since it's obviously higher up on the evolutionary chain than the aforementioned Ms. Fox... and I'm pretty sure that we could have a joke at her expense.

Now if you offered the female lead to Ingrid Bergman, Audrey Hepburn, or Grace Kelly? Sure... I'd do it. Because they had talent. They were classy. They were sexy.

Bring them back from the dead... and I'll consider it.

Slow down there, hoss. She at least had the goddamn sense to make out with Amanda Seyfried.

[Captain Russ]

Fuck this sounds good: http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/10351/the-law/

On a side note, I watched Tales of the Black Freighter on the Netfrix.

I have no idea why this exists nor why I watched it aside from basic human curiosity. Tales is wholly unnecessary and lacks any of the attributes that made the comic-within-a-comic dynamism work, and there is no feasible way to make it bridge with the film in any way that would not disorient and take away from the main narrative (which is already truncated to the point of impotence).

Again: unfilmable is unfilmable.

[gravedigger]

Disliked 'Bad Boys'
Was meh on 'The Rock'
HATED 'Armageddon'
HATED 'Pearl Harbor'
HATED 'Bad Boys 2'
Disliked 'The Island'
HATED 'Transformers'

He's cinematic noise.

How can anyone be meh on THE ROCK?! I'm meh on you!

[Abraham Smashington]

Wow. The Rock and Bad Boys 2 are great. This makes me a sad panda. I also love Transformers. Bay needs to do the goddamn Superman movie.

[Timothy225]

I didn't mind The Rock or Bad Boys, but pretty much every other movie on Matt's list gets a "meh" out of me. I can take 'em or leave 'em.

The Transformers flicks just didn't work for me on several levels - prime (!) amongst 'em was I had no idea what the hell I was watching on the screen when there was a robot fight (is that a leg? Where's the robot's head? Where'd the gun come from?). It would often look like big metal thing slams into another big metal thing to become a big metal mess. With explosions. Robots were WAY over-designed and very complicated looking.

As for Megan Fox, damn near everything I've seen her in she's the "hot chick" and that's it. No real emotional beats to any of her storylines in every film she's in, so I have no real idea what she can do as an actress apart from looking pretty. Would I do the horizontal mambo with her? I guess, but I get the feeling she's probably not that great in the sack for some reason.

I like V's choices, though.

[Abraham Smashington]

I don't see that at all. I bet she'd let you go ass to mouth.

[V]

I'm sure she would...

She does not seem too bright. If you mentioned ATM to her, she'd probably think you have a cash machine in your bedroom.

[Nathan]

If you mentioned ATM to her, she'd probably think you have a cash machine in your bedroom.

Made my morning.

[Abraham Smashington]

I can get hating on her acting, but telling me that you wouldn't want to wreck that chick does not compute.

[V]

Tastes differ, Rob.

I personally do not find her attractive. Granted, she's a stunning young woman... but I would not hit it. Attraction to me is more than looks.