What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Ben Thomas]

Rounded off my Western weekend (might yet squeeze another one in) with Open Range.

Still love it. That shootout is the balls, obviously, but the whole film is so handsome and there's a rough authenticity to all the dialogue.

[Matt]

RE: 'Vanishing Point' - Sorry, I don't like the anorexic look on women. Some curve is a necessary thing.

Yeah, I need to see 'Open Range' again. Thanks for plugging that one into my brain, Ben.

[Timothy225]

Watched Transformers 2 on cable. Every criticism was right on the money for this dreck. Made me long for the 80s cartoon... it was THAT bad.

[Bobby Bear]

Watched Transformers 2 on cable. Every criticism was right on the money for this dreck. Made me long for the 80s cartoon... it was THAT bad.

There aren't many films I'd never give a second viewing to, but...

[Timothy225]

Only reason to watch the movie in the first place. Now, with this pic, no one has to. You're welcome!

[Captain Russ]

Only reason to watch the movie in the first place. Now, with this pic, no one has to. You're welcome!

White Guilt Powers™ activated every time that Racist Robot Twins™ were onscreen. It was like a flashback to Ted Danson in blackface.

I actively hate that film.

[Matt]

Never saw 'Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen', and I honestly have no intention to. I hated the first one and have no desire to see a film that's WORSE.

[V]

As I actively hate Michael Bay himself.

Regardless of what he's done.

Regardless of what he will do.

Even if he were to simultaneously cure cancer, AIDS, male pattern baldness, fix the economy, and foster world peace... I would still loathe and despise him to the utter core of my very being.

If time travel were indeed possible, I would return to the day before he was born, and push his mother down the stairs...

And if you think that sounds a bit harsh, let me assure you that I am in a positively smashing mood today! Beautiful weather, not a care in the world...

except for Michael Bay.

[Matt]

As I actively hate Michael Bay himself.

Disliked 'Bad Boys'
Was meh on 'The Rock'
HATED 'Armageddon'
HATED 'Pearl Harbor'
HATED 'Bad Boys 2'
Disliked 'The Island'
HATED 'Transformers'

He's cinematic noise.

[nerdious dorkus]

Star Trek Generations - wow, I forgot how bad that movie was.
Never Back Down - Karate Kid for tweens. Just as bad. Fight choreography was good.

[nerdious dorkus]

As I actively hate Michael Bay himself.

Regardless of what he's done.

Regardless of what he will do.

Even if he were to simultaneously cure cancer, AIDS, male pattern baldness, fix the economy, and foster world peace... I would still loathe and despise him to the utter core of my very being.

If time travel were indeed possible, I would return to the day before he was born, and push his mother down the stairs...

And if you think that sounds a bit harsh, let me assure you that I am in a positively smashing mood today! Beautiful weather, not a care in the world...

except for Michael Bay.

MY FUCKIN' MAN!

[V]

As stated...

Were Bay himself to create a film of such sublime and unparalleled excellence, that all loved him, and nubile teen-aged girls fellated him endlessly for days without end...

Were it to star Jesus Christ himself in his triumphant return to the mortal plane of existence, with supporting roles by every actor I've loved who has died during the last 30 years...

Were he to offer me a starring role as myself, in the action packed motion picture event of all time...

I would still push his mother down the stairs.

Repeatedly.

[nerdious dorkus]

Disliked 'Bad Boys'
Was meh on 'The Rock'
HATED 'Armageddon'
HATED 'Pearl Harbor'
HATED 'Bad Boys 2'
Disliked 'The Island'
HATED 'Transformers'

He's cinematic noise.

I love that you only disliked The Island, when it's his most HORRIBLE FILM EVAAR! Product placement was bad in Transformers, but worse in The Island. It was more of a commercial than Transformers.

[nerdious dorkus]

But Vin, what if you have you the starring role as the romantic interest opposite of Ms. Megan Fox?

[V]

Nerdious, my friend...

I would prefer to shove my manhood in a Salad Shooter™ and pull the trigger myself...

Megan Fox is the antithesis of what a movie star should be. She is well and truly talentless(save for the obviously stellar cocksucking skills that earned her a film role), and more plastic than a Barbie™ doll... but without the people skills.

I rather think I'd have more interesting conversations with a retarded clam... since it's obviously higher up on the evolutionary chain than the aforementioned Ms. Fox... and I'm pretty sure that we could have a joke at her expense.

Now if you offered the female lead to Ingrid Bergman, Audrey Hepburn, or Grace Kelly? Sure... I'd do it. Because they had talent. They were classy. They were sexy.

Bring them back from the dead... and I'll consider it.