What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Matt]

Yeah, I don't get the OMG GI JOE WAS AWESOME love that it got from the other site. The Paris sequence was genuinely awesome, and the treadmill sequence was very uplifting, but that's really about it.

[Ed Hocken]

That sonic gun the Barroness had was the most annoying weapon in existence. If this was a video game, that would be the game's bitch move.

The movie feels like it should have been made around 96-99.

That and Cobra Commander's name is REX. REX!

[Matt]

I want to see it again, though. I find that all of Sommers' films play better (MUCH better) on DVD.

[Ari]

All this GI Joe talk is bringing me back to the best GI Joe related video made this year:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/076...lad-of-g-i-joe

If you've never seen it, then you are now welcome.

[Abraham Smashington]

That sonic gun the Barroness had was the most annoying weapon in existence. If this was a video game, that would be the game's bitch move.

The movie feels like it should have been made around 96-99.

That and Cobra Commander's name is REX. REX!

Jesus Ed, you really just don't get it.

I finished GI JOE last night. Still didn't get any better and got even sillier with Tatum being the most inert force since Hyrdrogen.

Seriously. Did you go into this movie expecting a riveting military drama? I'll give you Tatum though. Although Duke was always just a dude. No one ever cared about him

I want to see it again, though. I find that all of Sommers' films play better (MUCH better) on DVD.

Except for Mummy Returns. Fuck that movie. haha.

But seriously, G.I. JOE was probably the best outta the big blockbusters this summer. It was fun as fuck and it cements my opinion that Ed hates fun and America.

Let's see what JOE had going for it (possible spoilers):

• Ninjas
• Ninjas in jetpacks
• Ninjas killing motherfuckers left and right
• Kid Ninjas beating the FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER
• Hot women
• Hot women beating the FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER
• Hot women wearing skin tight outfits beating the FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER
• People's heads are constantly exploding
• Underground secret bases in both the Sahara and under the polar ice caps
• Underground secret bases that have fucking awesome training montages
• Mad scientists
• Mad scientists with aspirations to take over the world
• MOTHERFUCKING ARNOLD VOSLOO as MOTHERFUCKING ZARTAN
• as Dr. Mindbender
• A killer action sequence in Paris that leaves most of it destroyed. So much win
• A plot that seems to be written by people that remember what it's like to be a kid playing with toys. And that you don't have to explain everything. Just say "In the distant future" and you can do anything you want.
• The bad guys are set up to break out of prison next flick, just like the cartoon. They even were held in laser jail. Awesome.
• Dennis Quaid

Seriously, the movie was pretty fucking entertaining. Reminded me of being a kid and creating massive battles in the backyard with my figures. If you didn't get that, than I feel bad. IT's in no way an Oscar winning film, but it was fun, had a shit ton of awesome action and was miles better than Wolverine or TF2. I'll be buying this on blu.

[Ed Hocken]

District 9 was able to pull that shit off and MORE with nearly a tenth of the budget.

Star Trek was way more fun, GI Joe was boring and predictable.

Fuck that noise.

[Abraham Smashington]

District 9 was able to pull that shit off and MORE with nearly a tenth of the budget.

Fuck that noise.

Are you fucking kidding me Ed? Seriously. Did you just compare apples to oranges?

[Abraham Smashington]

Seriously Ed. You're like the guys that wander into the B-Movie thread bitching and moaning that Dolph Lundgren isn't realistic.

[Ed Hocken]

I would never say they're realistic. I'm saying there are entertaining B-Action movies. However, those films are few and far between because the rest of them are so fucking boring.

All of that shit you listed has been done and far better.

[Abraham Smashington]

You make my head hurt. I'm going to go make a PB and J sammich, play with some toys and remember a child hood I had. Go play with your snowmen.

[Ed Hocken]

There's nothing wrong with remembering your childhood but dammit the movie sucked. It almost seemed like an outgrowth of Street Fighter, which is hilarious. There wasn't even that in this movie. Except for Ray Park as Snake, that's pretty much it.

And what you've got against snowmen?

[Ed Hocken]

But basically GI JOE = LXG in terms of quality. You heard me.

[Abraham Smashington]

Street Fighter is THE DEFINITION of a BAD B-MOVIE. That being said, that movie is worth it for Raul Julia and for THIS.

[Abraham Smashington]

But basically GI JOE = LXG in terms of quality. You heard me.

It must be hard to FAIL so hard all the time.

[nerdious dorkus]

And what you've got against snowmen?

Snowmen wear scarves.