What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Ed Hocken]

Remaking Oldboy makes as much sense as remaking Let the Right one In. There is no reason to do it.

[Abraham Smashington]

Remaking Oldboy makes as much sense as remaking Let the Right one In. There is no reason to do it.

Unfortunately there is a reason. Most people aren't fans of subtitles or dubs. It's stupid, but there it is. And if it helps people seek out the originals, then who cares?

[Shit Dickface]

it'll be interesting to see how the Spielberg/Smith remake of it will go.

Will's going to be surgically experimented upon and brainwashed by Chiwetel Ejiofor into almost raping Jaden, resulting in a harrowing scene in a dingy YMCA locker room.

Tom Arnold will burst naked out of the shower at the last second with an EMP grenade and set it off, deactivating Ejiofor's implanted RapeChip device. Then they'll all hug on the floor and go get ice cream and Will will say something about having "the best family on Earf."

For the ending: Instead of cutting out his tongue, he'll suffer brain freeze while the ColdStone Creamery ice-cream jockeys sing an acapella version of David Bowie's "I'm Afraid Of Americans", and wacky hijinks will ensue involving Will having trouble talking.

[Captain Russ]

And if some intern is cunning enough, he'll slip LSD into Spielberg's morning coffee and then we'll get that Will Smiff + daughter+ bed equation in there and then the heads of whitey America will explode.

[Matt]

Whitey America? I don't think that the outrage would be confined to 'white' America, Russ.

[Captain Russ]

True.

But they're the most integrated into my familial pipeline.

And most of those uptight assholes need a Smiff-rape scene, the O'Reilly-watchin' motherfuckers.

[patronsaintofcheeseburgers]

My wife wasn't amused by Oldboy...but she thinks all I watch is "shit movies" like that anyway. I guess it's true I tend to watch some pretty dark movies.

[Ed Hocken]

You tried to make the wife watch Happiness didn't ya?

[patronsaintofcheeseburgers]

No it all started with Requiem then Irreversible...I got the "you're probably enjoying that shit you sick fuck" speech...since then my movie choices have all been dark/depressing/somber. Not sure why, but I think I need to lighten the mood.

[Ed Hocken]

Yeah, it would appear to be that way.

[Ed Hocken]

This is more of an upcoming event but should everything go right, this Monday. I will be watching Hackers.

[Matt]

'Inglourious Basterds' tonight. I can't WAIT.

[Ed Hocken]

I'll be seeing that either tonight or tomorrow. Prepare for lots of Nazis getting shot.

[Abraham Smashington]

Hopefully checking that out tomorrow.

[patronsaintofcheeseburgers]

Need to see either district or IB this weeekend.