What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Timothy225]

So how was Corey in bed?

Lousy. I honestly don't know what Rob sees in him. Bastard doesn't even do post-coital cuddles.

[Abraham Smashington]

Oh my love for Feldman is now purely in spite of how shitty he is. Such a shame. Again, would love for him to just come out and say "GOTCHA! This whole thing has been a long running prank ala Andy Kaufman!" but nah, he's just a shitty dude who is a shitty musician who loves to shit on his dead friend.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Dressing up like Michael Jackson to his funeral (and after saying he thought he molested those kids) was a choice.

[Abraham Smashington]

The Weird Al Yankovic Story - FUCKING AMAZING. Easily the funniest biopic since Popstar. Better than Walk Hard easily. Harry Potter needs to do more comedy. So many fucking people in this it's ridiculous. Can't believe they shot this whole thing in like 15 days. Impressive.

  Spoiler: spoilers 

The shit with his "original" song Eat It was fucking AMAZING. Pablo fucking Escobar being a part was inspired.

The re-recording of Al's songs were GREAT. Legit hilarious and I hope they sell this on digital or disc. I don't fuck with Roku so I had to make an account and hook up my laptop to the tv to stream it. I'm sure there is an easier way but again, don't have any fire sticks, roku sticks, or shit like that. Now that I think of it, I wonder if my tv has the app? Whatever, HIGHLY recommended to everyone who has ever enjoyed Weird Al.

Still thinking about that scene in the jungle makes me laugh. Evan Rachel Wood as Madonna was perfect, all of the cameos were on ponit, goddamn just a funny movie. Toby Hess is the man.

[Abraham Smashington]

A little back story - Clerks 2 was the first movie that Lesley and I saw even before we were technically dating. I took a long lunch at my job and we went on our "first date". It was during this movie that I made the decision that Lesley was definitely going to be the person to spend my life with. The shit between Dante/Becky/and his fiance was something I was going through at the time minus the engagement. We were talking about this before we watched Clerks III and I guess I never told her about how Clerks 2 was a big part of how I knew she was the one. She's my Rosario.

Cut to Clerks 3. Non spoilers first - Jay Mewes's teeth are somehow even more distracting than usual, Kevin Smith looks like he's in blackface the whole movie, Jeff Anderson and Brian O'Halloron acted their asses off, Elias aged poorly (but the goth shit was hilarious) but large parts of this movie felt too silly for how other parts of this movie were. The re-creation of Clerks scenes were fun but so much of this movie is just that that it gets old. Ok spoilers in next post...

[Abraham Smashington]

Ok, now for spoilers and why this movie FUCKED MY SHIT UP and DESTROYED ME.

  Spoiler: Spoilers 

So the movie starts and the first thing we see is that Becky DIED. COOOOL. The metaphor for my relationship is dead and the credits are still rolling. I just told my wife that she was my Becky and Becky is dead.... I brace myself for more of this throughout but I was not prepared for everything that happened. The shit with Randall/heart attack shit didn't do it but then Dante has a flashback while in the hospital where you see Rosario on a stretcher all fucked up.... For me, personally, it's everything with how Dante is dealing with the death of his wife(and apparently unborn child) for 15 years as she died the same year that Clerks 2 released. He has a dream in a cemetery where he's bearing his soul to Rosario about how his life ended the day hers did and that he can't go on without her, what's the point, etc etc (Yep, same shit bro, I feel you) and I'm on the couch holding in violent crying (it's hard to do fYI) not because I have to be a "man" and "men don't cry" but more because I don't like being sad around my dying wife and crying. I try to do that on my own because it doesn't help her and just causes her to feel bad.



Then of course in typical Smith writing he undercuts this or tries to subdue it by having Rosario talk about she's fucking all kinds of famous people in heaven because that's all you do (meanwhile Dante for all intents and purposes has not beeing this at all) and I'm not laughing. It's not funny (even not in my situation) but I am just in Dante's shoes but in a worse way. This anticipated grief shit is WORSE than if a loved one just died in an accident....so I'm sitting here trying not to fully break down and then we're back into silly bs. Ok, not laughing, stuck in my head, hoping this is the last bit of this as Rosario bascially says that Dante's life isn't over, he should be happy because he has a chance to write a new chapter while she doesn't, but he's not buying it and neither am I.



More stupid shit happens and then it's just more and more of in jokes and Kevin Smith re-creating scenes from Clerks with the same people and whatever, and then they are going to go shoot the "donkey scene" from Clerks 2 in the Moobys....WELL Dante has a full on breakdown because that's where him and Becky met and he hasn't been in one since she died and etcetc, so he gets drunk and then shows up to shoot a scene hammered. Randall goes off on him and says he's a piece of shit because "I ALMOST DIED MAN and you only think about yourself etctec" and Dante is just gobsmacked and defeated.



They then reshoot the "Salsa Shark" scene from the original and it's the same lines and then it goes off the rails when Dante just loses his shit and GOES OFF about how Randall is the piece of shit and how no one thinks of what he's going through with the death of his family (who didn't get a second chance), and no one GIVES A SHIT about Randall's life and that he's just been an asshole his whole life and how Dante wasted his time and energy trying to be his friend and Randall can't even make Dante a main character (running joke that Dante is just a background person in Randall's movie) , and he's just laying the fucking smack down (amazing monologue by O'Halloren) and then he faints.....because he has a heart attack. So now Dante is in the hospital and all Randall can think of is finishing the movie.



Goth Elias (one of the few funny part of the movie) tells Randall he's a piece of shit because of this and Randall has a "It's a Wonderful Life" type realization and runs home to edit the movie and then back to the hospital. He finds Dante hooked up to machines and Randall is crying and telling him how sorry he is for being a piece of shit and how he realized that Dante IS the star of the movie (the original Clerks, again, 40% of this movie is either re-creations OR just clips from the movie) and he has a new edit of the movie that he wants to show Dante. He hits play on the laptop and "Clerks" starts playing. Dante grabs Randall's hand and then we're in a theater where Dante is watching "Clerks" on the big screen and laughing...so everything ends okay... But wait Becky sits down next to him...we're not in a theater. He says that it's the best movie he's ever seen and it's time to leave the theater and Becky asks him if he's sure and he's like yep..... Him and Becky leave and cuts to Dante's funeral....He's dead. It ends and I know the message is supposed to be like "don't take things for granted, and live life!" but in my head it's like "yeah, my life has been over since May 2019 and I'm on borrowed time where there is a good chance that once it gets to that point, I'm not going to be around to even be in Dante's situation....IT FUCKING DESTROYED ME. All I do is live in a state of constant anxiety and dread about the death of my wife and how I see no light at the end of the tunnel and there is no happy ending where I get to "leave the theater" unless I take control and do it myself and it's just not something I wanted to think about when watching a sequel to a sequel to a movie I loved.



I'm tearing up just writing this and thinking about it....ugh.

So yeah, I get what he wanted to do, but it didn't work for me personally, Jay Mewes's teeth are somehow more distracting than usual, Elias aged poorly, and this did not need to exist. I will never watch this movie again.

[Timothy225]

Sending you the most massive, Godzilla sized brohugs, Rob.

And, yeah, wasn't interested in this flick, and now I can't wait to not see it.

[Martin]

Fuck me that’s horrible

[BillyG]

All Quiet On The Western Front

Definitely Netflix trying to buy their way into an Oscar. It's very good with some really outstanding performances, but it's not a revolutionary film. You've seen/heard all of the points it's making about war since every war film ever made has ripped off Western Front forever.

[Matt]

BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER

I really liked this. Indeed, I like it more than the first film.
I'm still processing it but a few thoughts:
- I hated AQUAMAN but boy did I love the Namor stuff in this. Changing his origin to a an Aztec/Mayan origin was brilliant, and the underwater world presented in this film feels much more real and tangible. Also, Tenoch Huerta is a real find.
- The acting in this one is great, especially from Angela Bassett. She's gonna get a supporting nom for this. Everyone is on their A game, though.
- The overall story arc works. It's a very solid dramatic throughline for Shuri and most of the story beats for her land perfectly.
- The opening Marvel Studios logo being all Chadwick Boseman was a nice touch.
- The fight scenes are much, much more polished than in the prior film. The special effects are done and the whole 'weightless' problem is more or less gone.

My one complaint is that the film is too damned long. That said, I rarely felt bored, even during the exposition dump scenes.

[BillyG]

Smile

Loved it. Went hard as hell. FX were fucked up, it was bloody, it was disturbing, it had lots of very solid scares. The ending is memorable as fuck. Wish I had seen this for Halloween in a big crowd.

[Abraham Smashington]

Top Gun Maverick.

via GIPHY

[Abraham Smashington]

Smile

Loved it. Went hard as hell. FX were fucked up, it was bloody, it was disturbing, it had lots of very solid scares. The ending is memorable as fuck. Wish I had seen this for Halloween in a big crowd.

Pumped for this. Had an effective trailer and was bummed they didn't release this digitally PRIOR to Halloween.

[BillyG]

Pumped for this. Had an effective trailer and was bummed they didn't release this digitally PRIOR to Halloween.

It really is, especially since it was supposed to be a Peacock+ original movie until it got great test screenings.

[FilmNerdJamie]

She Said could have learned some lessons from The Insider, which remains the gold standard of investigative journalism on film.

Including Ashley Judd was a major strategic mistake. Becomes too patting yourself on the back and making it about yourself instead of the broader picture. One of the leads crying and going "Oh thank you, Ashley!" was much.

And the beginning did cause me to roll my eyes with the stuff with Trump and O'Reilly. Especially since they choose to ignore what a rape enabler Hilary Clinton was/is with Bubba. Selective as all fuck with their outrage. This was also produced by Brad Pitt whose had some major abuse allegations thrown his way.

That said... I got past that and She Said was very good. Undeniable how powerful it got, at times.