What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Abraham Smashington]

MA.

not bad at all considering I figured the trailer showed everything. Octavia Spencer is a pretty creepy chick all things considered. Some genuine fucked up scenes. Felt like a throwback to the random 80s horror flicks featuring kids being dicks and getting their comeuppance.

[Captain Russ]

It. Part deux.

Sloppy, bloated, and a miscast or three made me wish I was back in 2017 watching the first attempt again. The writing and ensemble there were fine, the themes solidly established.

This just fell flat for me in so many ways. The time jumps ended up eroding whatever time the new brood had to try and get the audience invested in them 27 years later, and in so doing just reminded me of a better movie experience.

McAvoy was in full on Wanted mode with toothless mouth shouts and weird vocal pitch, Chastain was on autopilot the whole goddamned time and had some of the most flat line readings. Ransome and Hader were the best aspects of the new cast, and everybody else was nigh-on unmemorable.

The end letter to the audience fell on deaf ears, as they wrapped everything up so quickly and really could have cut a lot of fat out to make this film work more cohesively.

One final thing: CG is not scary. Jump scares are the last bastion of the horror hack. Stop doing this shit, Muschetti.

[Abraham Smashington]

Aww man. That's disheartening to hear.

Checkee out MIB International last night. Reviews were shit but I think it's the second best one. Hemsworth and Thompson were a bunch of fun and Liam Neeson brought some gravitas to the role. Nothing special but not nearly as terrible as people were saying. Kumail's alien character was pretty cute.

[Matt]

WATERWORLD. it's playing on STARZ right now.

I haven't seen this thing since it first hit vhs back in what...1995/1996? I've seen bits and pieces of it over the years but not enough to get a good read on the overall film. My initial impression back when I first watched it was that it was OK.

After watching it again, I think it's slightly less than OK. The plot is so thin that you can see through it, and every story beat can be predicted with relative ease. The only reason to watch this is for the setting, and not enough is really done to flesh things out such that you actually believe in the feasibility of this world. Watching Costner pee into a cup, process his urine, and then drink it is honestly about as far as the film goes in terms of showing 'how' things might work.

Also, the opening narration indicates that the polar ice caps melted. There's no suggestion that there was a war that destroyed technology, so wouldn't we have had a situation more akin to 2012 where everyone is living on massive ships? Why would all of the technology be lost?

Another thing...the whole movie is about a search for dry land. At the end of the film, you finally get there and discover the dead bodies of the little girl's parents.
- Why did they tattoo the location of the dry land on their daughter's back?
- Why did she leave in the first place?
- When she left, HOW did she leave? Who took her, and why wouldn't that person know where dry land is?

The whole thing is a plot hole. I know, 'turn off your brain and just enjoy it'...that's hard to do when there's so little actual plot to engross the viewer. All that you can do is think about the logistics of things and everything falls apart.

It doesn't help that Costner's Mariner is a pretty unappealing douchebag for most of the film. He's all about pitching the girl over the side of the ship in order to save water/rations, but then he doesn't and there aren't any apparent consequences to the water/fool situation that I can discern. Oh, and suddenly he takes the girl out to show her how to swim and they bond...oh, now he cares. What? That's a pretty big character leap that isn't earned.

Hopper is fun at least.

Some of the boat action works, and Costner's trimaran is pretty cool with all of its gadgets and stuff (and where did he acquire such a ship?)

[Abraham Smashington]

aww man, I still love that movie. That new blu-ray set that came out last year is still one of the best cuts but I do agree that there are plotholes a plenty in this.

That being said, I still totally enjoy the shit out of this movie.

[Captain Russ]

As long as that film is, it certainly feels like there is a missing hour of development of everything.

[Matt]

Oh totally.

[Matt]

I kinda want to see that Ulysses cut, now. Sounds like it helps the film more cohesive.

[Abraham Smashington]

Child's Play '19 - If this was just a killer robot doll movie it would have worked much better but the truth is, Mark Hamill is no Brad Dourif and this Chucky is no O.G. Chucky. No fun one liners, no hilarious menacing outbursts for the most part, no creepy laugh, nada.

I miss the voodoo shit from the original because it was so silly but the explanation for how this one comes alive is just retarded silly.

This is basically how this one turns evil.

Now, that being said as just a killer robot movie it works pretty well. The fake tech is mostly believable, and the escalation near the end worked for the most part. The doll itself works well when you see it moving around and interacting with Andy (until some dodge CG near the end), Andy was decent, his friends were a nice addition, Aubrey Plaza was good, the detective brought some humor in and the kills/gore were unexpected and made the movie a much more fun watch. The ending was fucking ridiculous though and not in a good way thanks to the shitty CGI.

But seriously, Mark Hamill phoned this shit in. Was not a fan of his take. A rental at least if you're a fan of killer dolls.

[Captain Russ]

Probably would have instantly worked better if they tried using the “Deadly Friend” branding.

Yes. Horror movies are now synonymous with a chain store at an outlet mall.

I’d rather watch the old films. In fact I did. Number 2 was outstanding with how it went over the top with everything. Love that one so damn much.

[BillyG]

I always liked the military academy one best as a kid. Is that 3? I think all of them are streaming on Prime right now.

[Abraham Smashington]

Yeah, the military one is part 3. Part 2 is probably my favorite if only because of how unhinged Chucky becomes over the course of that movie, plus the ending in the toy factory is legit great.

[Abraham Smashington]

Between Two Ferns flick. Not bad but of course the actual interviews and outtakes at the end are the best parts of the movie. Everything else sort of falls flat but it doesn't matter thanks to the fucking HILARIOUS outtakes.

[Matt]

Yeah, the military one is part 3. Part 2 is probably my favorite if only because of how unhinged Chucky becomes over the course of that movie, plus the ending in the toy factory is legit great.

The toy factory sequence at the end of CP2 is one of the better staged sequences that I can recall seeing. It's incredibly well thought out and put together and is easily the highlight of the entire franchise.

[B_Metal]

Rambo:Last Blood AKA Hold My Beer



PC crowd is going to shit all over it because the mexican cartel in this movie is SHOCKINGLY very mexican-ish. I'm not even going into that shit because it's a fucking movie. But someone referred to the third act as Home Alone-ish. Kevin WISHES he thought of some of this shit. I refuse to give examples. See it, if only for the third act. If you get riled up by the PC crowd, wait till it's a netflix and watch the last half and pretend it's a multi-cultural coalition of Rambo haters.