What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Captain Russ]

"Aw god, she's got glasses and a ponytail!

And paint on her overalls! What is that!?"

[B_Metal]

NEIGHBORS

Pretty damned funny, actually. I was genuinely surprised at how good Rose Byrne was in this...she needs to do more comedies like this because she's a natural at it.

that's what I was saying. That movie is great. The Batman conversation, "I'm wearing a choker!", and the Abercrombie stuff was hilarious.

God, the Batman conversation was fantastic. The movie was littered with great moments like that.

as dumb as it is, the scene with the different DeNiros and Sam Jackson made me lose my shit.

Totally with you.

Who are you?
I'm Sam Jackson from JACKIE BROWN! 'The path of the righteous man...'
Dude, you're not even in the right fucking movie!

Hoo ah!
Dude, that's Pacino! Get your actors right!

Funny stuff.

All of that stuff is true but Rogen and Byrne had no chemistry at all.

[gravedigger]

DAYS OF FUTURE PAST- I don't know, second-best X-Men movie behind FIRST CLASS? I really liked it. The conceit behind Wolverine going back worked and they did what they could to reconcile the changing world with the previous timeline. Needed more Frasier, though.

[Martin]

It was good. not great, but good. While the Quicksilver sequence was cool, holy shit did they overpower him. They made him faster than the Flash.

[IggytheBorg]

In the Marvel Universe, he IS the Flash.FUCK the Whizzer.

[Martin]

I don't remember Quicksilver able to go as fast as The Flash, truth be told. And I'm a Marvel guy. Here, Quicksilver is insanely fast.

Quicksilver was much more of a douche though.

[Timothy225]

Troof, Martin. Quicksilver's probably the fastest guy in the Marvel U., but he's much, much slower than the Flash, and can't do all the stuff the Flash can (travel through time, pass through solid objects by moving his molecules fast, hitting lightspeed, etc.).

And Iggy, why the hate for the Whizzer? I mean, have you SEEN the man's crimefightin' togs?



That's some OG superhero fashion right there, son! Troy, when can we expect a Whizzer movie from Marvel/Disney? The man's time is NOW, dammit!

[Captain Russ]

Quicksilver is also cooler than the Flash (Barry anyway. Wally is the shit.)

Pic-related commentary: He's asking for Death's Head to fuck him up.

GET A JOB, WHIZZER.

[Nathan]

Cap' n Merica Winter Soldier. I liked it. Not sure about ScarJo.

[Captain Russ]

The Prophecy.

Man, this shit was hilarious and all sorts of fucked.

One part Angel Heart, one part Natalie Wood murderer, and one part where I remembered Virginia Madsen was a looker ever since I saw that titty in "Class."

The sound effects that were recycled whenever Walken's Gabriel would immolate someone never got old (mostly because the used samples are basically the "Wilhelm Scream" of the combustible set). Especially whenever he was doin' the fire dance on Eric Stoltz.

I'll get back to the fire stuff in a bit (I lied, I don't. I just reread it, and I fucking don't.), as Stoltz needs to be singled out as the most perved up angel since Alan Rickman dropped his dickless/cooterless shit in Linda Fiorentino's bedroom. There's this part where Stoltz's character Simon has been gravely wounded and he's hiding out in Arizona of all places (what a shithole) and this kid befriends him, promising to bring him some sustenance soon.

Well, when she does, and Ginny Madsen gets wind of it, she discovers the kid sittin' ol' Eric's lap, holding a can of Coke with TWO FUCKING STRAWS in it. Not only that, but then he fucking french's the kid (Polanski must love this movie.), giving her not only a complex for the rest of her fucking life, but also a dark soul that could ignite the fires of a second Hell (Woody Allen too.).

Angels are fucking strange, man.

If a pyrokinetic Chris Walken in Joe Perry-styled garb is the most straight-laced one of your group, you are fucking weird.

No wonder Elias Koteas' character didn't want to be a priest. He'd have to explain the gospel according to Simon, the weirdest fucking Angel ever, who shared his soda with kids he didn't even fucking know like it was no big thing.

Then there's the part where Ginny Madsen becomes a fucking crack shot and blows up a trailer, shooting a big "fuck you" handgun like Chow Yun Fat.

Then of course, the OG, Lucyfur (Viggo Mortensen) shows up to tell ol' Chris Walken to get his jet black brillo-head outta Dodge. Walken says "eat my ass" in Angel-ese and Viggo RIPS HIS HEART OUT LIKE KANO and EATS IT. I was up at four in the A.M. with nothing but the dawn and morning drunks stumbling down my street to wait for, so I decided to watch this glorious shithouse film. I was not disappointed in the slightest.

I barely recalled anything regarding this "film" from previous viewings, so seeing it in such a state was ideal and I highly recommend you enjoy it the same way.

Even Adam Goldberg's usually whiny ass wasn't so whiny this time. And big ups to the "It's gold, Jerry!" guy who's name escapes me as the most real fucking M.E. I have ever seen put to film.

[IggytheBorg]

Thou shalt not disparage The Prophecy! Walken's Brooklyn accent is wonderful, I say unto you! And Gabriel spake, and when he spake, he sayeth unto the children: "Study yer mat' kids. It's'a key to da Yoo-nee-verse."

Amen.

[Anderson]

Troof, Martin. Quicksilver's probably the fastest guy in the Marvel U., but he's much, much slower than the Flash, and can't do all the stuff the Flash can (travel through time, pass through solid objects by moving his molecules fast, hitting lightspeed, etc.).

And Iggy, why the hate for the Whizzer? I mean, have you SEEN the man's crimefightin' togs?



That's some OG superhero fashion right there, son! Troy, when can we expect a Whizzer movie from Marvel/Disney? The man's time is NOW, dammit!

The Whizzer had his place in time, serving as the second Maury guest for who dick shat the Maximoff twins into existence.

[Captain Russ]

Thou shalt not disparage The Prophecy!

I had nothing but praise for it as an entertaining bad movie.

[B_Metal]

Every body knows the up at 4 am movie is Blood In: Blood Out Russel. GEEEZE

[Captain Russ]

There's two of them things at the end of my motherfucking name.

I can't watch Bound by Honor anymore. My buddy Chavez ruined it by playing it at 4 in the morning all the time in college.