What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Ben Thomas]

My problems with Jurassic Park boil down to two things: the kids and the final reel. I'm not gonna fault Spielberg's showmanship and I think the first hour is great. But the kids are ludicrously annoying and it doesn't really have an ending at all. I also think when it becomes a slasher movie with the raptors chasing the kids round the kitchen, it really tips the balance into just plain goofy.

However, the shot of the T-Rex roaring as the banner falls around him in the atrium almost redeems the entire film. I'm gonna give the 3D re-release a go, mainly because I'm curious to see if this gives Steve a big enough boner that he does his next popcorn film in 3D. But JP is never going to be one of my favourites of his.

[Timothy225]

Prometheus.

Visually, this is quite a film. Right from the beginning, there's plenty of breath-taking landscapes and exterior shots, and the interior scenes convey the right amount of dread and discovery. The special effects, especially the Prometheus itself, are captivating and seamless. Very well done.

The story and characters, however... yeah, this needed a lot more work and much more focus. Story had holes so big you could fly the Prometheus through them, some characters were walking cliches (looks at Redheaded Geologist Dude who wakes up cranky and a hardcase for no fucking reason. And Noomi Rapace's Asshole Scientist Boyfriend Who's An Asshole, further cementing Bill Hicks' truth that Chicks Dig Jerks), and many of the characters' motivations and purposes defy logic. Scientific methods and protocols fall by the wayside in the near future, it seems. And what the FUCK was up with Fassbender's Feely McTouchEverything? He figured out how to decipher the Engineer's stuff and open doors and shit with the same skill set it took Goldblum to figure out the aliens were MAC compatible in Independence Day.

Also, mad props to Noomi "Wonder Woman" Rapace's ability to bounce back from intensive abdominal surgery so she could do those jumps and shit. Jen had a couple of cysts removed back in December and she wasn't moving for shit for nigh on a week. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT HAPPEN, RIDLEY?

Yeah, this one's a clinker. Watch it for the pretty scenery, fast forward through everything else. Coming up next: Total Recall (2012).

[Ben Thomas]

Your summary fits the Total Recall remake too. Pretty but hollow.

[Timothy225]

Figured as much, Ben. Gonna watch it anyway this morning, if only to say I saw it, but I'll give it a shot to stand or fall on its' own merits.

Prometheus was such a damn disappointment, though. I'm astonished this HAD to be made, per Ridley Scott. Isn't there a better version of the script somewhere, one that explains how things were supposed to go and better?

[Ben Thomas]

For what it's worth, TR is enjoyable enough and Beckinsale is a blast in it. It's just the second best Total Recall film available.

[Ben Thomas]

I just watched Quiz Show again - haven't seen it in at least five years and each time, the reminder of how great Paul Attanasio's script is resonates more. I think this is probably my favourite of Robert Redford's directorial efforts. It's just classic, Hollywood filmmaking. The cast is a joy and no-one puts a foot wrong.

[B_Metal]

Total Recall remake is a B-, C+. Prometheus is a pretty D-.

[Timothy225]

For what it's worth, TR is enjoyable enough and Beckinsale is a blast in it. It's just the second best Total Recall film available.

Total Recall remake is a B-, C+. Prometheus is a pretty D-.

Just got done with Total Recall 2012 and my esteemed colleagues are spot on. Like Prometheus, it's a visually arresting film. The design work was great (love the security bots, the cityscapes, the vehicles), the action sequences were terrific (always love watching Beckinsale bring the pain), and I had no problems at all with Farrel and Biel as the heroes. Good stuff and much more rewatchable than Prometheus, which was a slog at times.

No way in hell, though, does it beat the Schwarzenegger version. While not as devoted to the source material, the original flick had more of a fun factor to it the new version seems to lack. Although, this version DID have fuckbots (a blink and you'll miss it detail, but, by Fahey, they're there!).

[B_Metal]

Plus the call backs to the original film were cool too. Also Bokeem Woodbine, which may or may not be a plus in your book.

[BillyG]

Theater had a Jurassic Park jeep outside. I guess I'm going to shell out the dollars for it next week. I was never happier in my life than seeing Jurassic Park the first time.

[Matt]

I concur with the TOTAL RECALL (2012) assessments. It was a decidedly 'ok' movie.

[Ben Thomas]

Oblivion

It was... pretty ok. The first half is certainly stronger than the second and nearly all its ideas are cribbed from other, better films. But the design and atmosphere of the film is beautiful and Kosinski has a very clean, pulsating style that's pleasant to soak in. There are some tidy setpieces (3 or 4 pretty nice ones), but it goes for an emotional beat 2/3rds of the way in that doesn't quite land (Kurylenko and Cruise have zero chemistry, while Andrea Riseborough is quite excellent and is missed in this section) and it all sort of peters out a bit towards the end.

It really is a gorgeous film though and given the chance, I would recommend seeing it in IMAX. The plot itself is never insulting or dull and the whole thing is very well put together and absolutely deserves to be seen on the biggest screen possible. Extra points go to an enjoyably Ben Burtt-esque sound design.

[Abraham Smashington]

American Movie.

I haven't seen this in years and Ceej mentioned he had a copy. I just had to borrow it. I've been in a really bad head space the last few weeks and Mark and Mike pulled me out of it.

[Ben Thomas]

Love love love that film.

[Matt]

DREAMCATCHER

What in the name of fuckity fuck did I just watch? Just how much cocaine was everyone on when they made that???