What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Captain Russ]

No Baroness?

Suck a dick, Hollywood!

[Abraham Smashington]

I'm so disappointed.

[Matt]

Ari is dead on regarding Flint. The actor playing him is a complete non-entity who barely registers on your radar for the entire film. You completely forget that he's there.

[Abraham Smashington]

That's a damn shame as he was one of my favorite toys as a kid.

[Ari]

That's a damn shame as he was one of my favorite toys as a kid.

If you watch the movie, bring the toy along and hold him out in front of you every time Flint is on the screen, then just create your own dialogue and the movie will be at least 27% better.

[Abraham Smashington]

hahaha.

Well you saved me like 30 bucks from taking Lesley to this flick this weekend. I am sad and relieved at the same time.

I'll just pop in the bluray of the first one tonight and weep at what could have been.

[Ari]

Yeah, I think this movie was made just for people who are fans of The Rock and also hated the first movie.

But I'm sure the third film will ignore every character except cardboard man as he goes off on his quest to eat paint or something.

[Matt]

It's definitely the Rock's show.

[B_Metal]

SUCKS.

[Captain Russ]

Badlands.

I had not seen this since that wonderful day back in 2006, where in the throes of a booze soaked haze, Terry M's debut effort began playing on some channel that I must have flipped to in my sleep.

In a cocoon of sweaty regret and panic from the previous nights festivities, I decided to sit back and partake of Malick's most coherent film to date. Even with what felt like a caved in brainpan, I lamented the fact I couldn't freeze many of the frames contained within the film. It was a perfect afternoon film for a guy who felt like a piece of shit. The story as presented in vignettes did nothing but help my appreciation for the overall picture in such a state.

Yesterday, not much wiser yet much more sober, I once again sat back and continued to enjoy the show. The performances were natural and contained certain fantastic moments such as when Martin Sheen's Kit holds the screen door open for the man he just shot in the gut, or the nonchalant delivery of the line "Found a toaster" as Kit returns from the basement having laid Holly's dead father down. Spacek's existential rumination via stereopticon was a cogent use of Malick's now typical lyrical juxtaposition of narration and photography (which many subsequently salute with a dismissive wank motion). Little did I know that it would never be used so well again.

I felt more in tune with the restlessness of the characters within their environments. Forever transient, always at odds with the landscape around them, Kit and Holly can be seen as the prototypes of every Malick character since (albeit with a lack of homicidal tendencies), constantly at war with the natural world.

The music was also used to great effect throughout. The grim choral piece playing as Holly's house burns, the odd plinking percussion as Kit stands looking across the plain, unmoving, as the day passes into night, and of course, the Nat "King" Cole dance between the fracturing couple among the headlights of their stolen Cadillac.

It still mesmerizes in its quiet moments, amuses and shocks in the actions and dialogue of the players. To be as clichéd and nostalgic as humanly possible, they just don't make 'em like this anymore.

A brief aside: I miss Warren Oates.

[Abraham Smashington]

I was thoroughly impressed with the 3D post conversion in Jurassic Park. It honestly felt like Spielberg already shot it in 3D. It was also super awesome to see it again on the big screen. I was a happy 13 year old all over again for 2 hours. So good.

[Captain Russ]

How did the couchasaurus rex look? How was the sound quality of his Mariah Carey-pitch squeal of delight at the sight of the Barbasol DNA smuggling container?

What of the Mr. DNA cartoon? Did it jump out at you at all?

I need answers, Mr. Hughes.

[B_Metal]

NOSTALGIA BONER FROM RERB!

[Abraham Smashington]

JP is legit. Just a great flick. Anyone hating on JP makes me a sad panda. If you hate 3D just seeing this normal in the theater again is great. No home theater can replicate the fucking bass that this movie puts out. Add the John Williams track, fuck yeah man.

The T-Rex stuff was pretty awesome but I really liked the stuff with the first reveal and the brontosaurus stuff in the trees.

[B_Metal]

Got no qualms with seeing it in the theater, but fuck a post convert cash grab imho.

Hobbit, meh. Bad wigs, weird pacing, it just was not as compelling as the Ring Trilogy for me. MegaWhiteOrc was pretty legit though.