What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Matt]

Kyle Chandler's hairdo was that of King Douche of Knozzle Kingdom.

Agreed on that for sure. Maya's beatdown on him in the hallway was awesome.

[Matt]

CONAN THE BARBARIAN, Momoa edition.

Good fucking God what a shitty film. No plot to engage with, no characters to care about, and action sequences with zero geography to them so that they are nearly impossible to understand.

Tits. That's about it. Whoooopdie do.

[Martin]

Not sure why I liked it, but I did.

[Captain Russ]

Why waste your time on that pile when Dredd is out?

Watch Dredd.

Dreddy Dredd Dredd.

Yeah. That shit is still awesome. And unlike most 3D films, the novelty remains in the slo-mo effect long after the stupid glasses are gone.

[Abraham Smashington]

GHOUL.

Direct to DVD adaptation of Brian Keene's book of the same name starring Barry Corbin (for like 10 mins) and Luke from Modern Family. The book itself was a weird one. Keene is like Generation X's Stephen King and this book felt like him trying to make his own version of IT. It wasn't bad but it never reached the point of being great. The movie is a pretty faithful adapation that made a few changes that seemed weird (not killing off some of the characters/the GHOUL itself) yet kept stuff from the book in the movie that served no purpose (kids being molested by their parents). The editor also loved using fadeouts....in almost every scene.

It wasn't horrible and was better than most Direct to DVD horror flicks and really makes me wish for a decent budget adaption of The Rising or Urban Gothic.

[Martin]

I haven't read Ghoul...

And Dredd is The Raid's British cousin. Both of them are fucking FUN.

[Ben Thomas]

Why waste your time on that pile when Dredd is out?

Watch Dredd.

Dreddy Dredd Dredd.

Right on.

Gutted cos I pre-ordered it form my local DVD stockist and it was supposed to come in yesterday, but apparently the distributor has had some beef with the store, so I still don't have it.

[Matt]

GHOUL.

Direct to DVD adaptation of Brian Keene's book of the same name starring Barry Corbin (for like 10 mins) and Luke from Modern Family. The book itself was a weird one. Keene is like Generation X's Stephen King and this book felt like him trying to make his own version of IT. It wasn't bad but it never reached the point of being great. The movie is a pretty faithful adapation that made a few changes that seemed weird (not killing off some of the characters/the GHOUL itself) yet kept stuff from the book in the movie that served no purpose (kids being molested by their parents). The editor also loved using fadeouts....in almost every scene.

It wasn't horrible and was better than most Direct to DVD horror flicks and really makes me wish for a decent budget adaption of The Rising or Urban Gothic.

I was hoping that this was an adaptation of GHOUL by Michael Slade. Wild book, highly recommended.

[IggytheBorg]

I may have to check that out. I agree w/ Rerb that GHOUL was a good, but not great, Keene novel. Seeing it on film could be cool.

[Abraham Smashington]

The best thing I can say about it is that Luke from Modern Family is a pretty decent kid actor.

[Ben Thomas]

Reservoir Dogs

In the cinema. It looks a lot more rough around the edges these days, though that kind of adds to the low budget charm and reminds you just how far snappy dialogue spoken by solid actors goes. I've always loved Tim Roth's performance in this, but - perhaps unsurprisingly, given that he pretty much got the film made - Harvey Keitel owns the film, doing both bombastic and subtle work and it's taken me twenty years to realise that.

Given the swathe of cynical, nasty films that followed and how they should have diluted Dogs' power, it's interesting that the most discussed scene - Mr Blonde and Marvin Nash getting up close and personal - still unsettles deeply. Not so much in the act itself, but the build-up and aftermath. Micheal Madsen's casual delivery of, 'All you can do is pray for a quick death. Which you ain't gonna get,' is one of the meanest line and delivery combinations of the decade. More gruesome than the ear-slicing itself is the gaping wound that we see in close-up for the following ten minutes. As ludicrous as the makeup is (why would the wound be that big?), it's still deeply unsettling. The balance that Tarantino and Sally Menke work by having the tensest sequence of the film followed by a lengthy dialogue scene between Tim Roth and Kirk Baltz shows how QT always knew his shit.

Compared to Tarantino's films since, this is the least glossy and in some ways the slightest - there's really nothing going on beneath the story and characters. So it's telling that it does what it does so well and still manages to pack a punch. It's canny of Cineworld to temporarily re-release this the week that Django opens here and I can't wait to see how the more polished and indulgent new film compares to this pared down and relatively short film.

[Trejo]

So.. I just watched The Girl Next Door. No, the horror one. No no, the Jack Ketchum horror one.

I can't remember feeling so fucking.. awful and dirty and miserable since Irreversible, and the feeling was much worse with this one. I need to take a scalding hot shower in bleach to get this feeling off of me.

What the FUCK brahs.

[Abraham Smashington]

isn't that the flick based on the true story of that crazy bitch that tortured 2 girls in her care along with her kids and husband?

[Abraham Smashington]

The Babymakers.

Goddammit Broken Lizard guys. Stop making unfunny movies.

[Ben Thomas]

Gangster Squad.

Dumb. Overly glossy. Unexciting. The epitome of mediocre. What a waste.