What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Ari]

Batman Forever was Schumacher holding back. It's a odd mix of the Burton films and Batman & Robin. Batman Forever starts off right away on the wrong note, with Elfman's fantastic score being replaced by shit. Then we get chessyness ("It's hot, boiling, acid!!!") and what follows is just an odd mixture of the serious tone of the Burton films mixed with absolute cornball shit. Just watch the scene where Two-Face teaches The Riddler how to punch someone: the guards just stand there like statues. It's fucking ridiculous as hell.

Batman & Robin is just pure cheese. From start to finish the whole film is a joke, a big budget Hollywood version of the Adam West show. Batman & Robin is just so wonderfully bad that I actually have more fun watching it than Forever. Forever feels like it could have been great, so it really pisses me off that if wasn't. Batman & Robin could never be more than a joke, so it's just a two hour comedy.

Or look at it like this; both films are such utter failures that they were even named wrong. The film that introduces Robin should have been called Batman & Robin. The fourth film in the franchise should have been called Batman FORever. Schumacher is such an epic fail that he couldn't even name his two piles of shit properly.

[Martin]

Batman Forever is not a bad flick.

DISAGREE.

Batman Forever is a terrible film. Its not as bad as Batman and Robin, but its actually less watchable.

B&R is much more unwatchable than Forever. Nothing in B&R works from the outset. Hot Uma Thurman not withstanding.

You 2 are arguing which one is worse tasting: a pile of dog shit, or a pile of cat shit.

Or which one is worse: being raped on a bed, or raped on the floor. Such is the Schumacher-Batman dilemna.

BOTH FUCKING SUCK.

[Abraham Smashington]

I like Kilmer. Sue me.

[Captain Russ]

His big fat head deserved a better Bat movie.

[Matt]

I like Kilmer. Sue me.

So do I. I just think he made for a better Saint than Batman.

[Captain Russ]

I'm just saying nerds like to dogpile on Forever but it's aged better than the first Batman yet doesn't touch Returns. Carrey was great, TLJ was hilarious, and it gave us Bats in a courtroom. All things that make the movie worth existing.

You are on your own there.

[Martin]

I like Kilmer. Sue me.

Instead, watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and imagine him with a cape.

This is the Kilmer we deserve.

[Anderson]

I like Kilmer. Sue me.

I like Kilmer too, but Forever is dated as fuck now.

[Abraham Smashington]

What still sucks is that we never got a Billy Dee Williams Two-Face.

[Anderson]

What still sucks is that we never got a Billy Dee Williams Two-Face.

There's no way that Burton could've pulled it off an inoffensive way. Hell, parts of Batman Returns almost turn into a Nazi propaganda cartoon.

[Ben Thomas]

What still sucks is that we never got a Billy Dee Williams Two-Face.

Now THAT I agree with.

I also think Kilmer fits the cape infintely better than Clooney - George's jaw is not his strongest feature. Kilmer's big cheesy grin when he leaves Kidman's place is the best thing in either of the Schumacher Batfilms.

[IggytheBorg]

Watched Apollo 18 last night. Entertaining, and creepy. Didn't waste too much time the way so many "found footage" films can, which I liked. But something about it just didn't fire on all 8, and kept it from being more than good as opposed to great. I did like the ending, though.

[Timothy225]

Fuck me, an in depth discussion on the Batman flicks and I missed it? I am fail.

Rewatched the series recently, my takes:

Batman: Hasn't aged well, true, but IMO, the best of the lot. Keaton was far from my first choice as Bruce Wayne/Batman, but he absolutely nailed it. Nicholson as the Joker was inspired - his take hued damn close to the classic 70's interpretation of the character, and he looked like he was having a blast with the role. Much like the first two Superman flicks, this flick is the closest we ever got to the comics/classic pop culture view of Batman and his world. It struck the right balance of mood and action, the story was easy to follow, and everyone delivered acting wise. Bob The Goon 4 Lyfe? Oh, indeed, mi compadres, indeed.

Batman Returns: A decent sequel, but Burton started to go off he rails a bit here. A dark movie visually, even more so than the first one. DeVito's Penguin was suitably horrific, but started getting way too campy in parts. Yeah, Penguin's a silly character anyway, but he was veering towards comedy here. Played a bit more straight, and as a criminal mastermind instead of a freak, and it could've worked better. Also, the whole Red Triangle Gang would've worked a LOT better if theJoker was leading them (c'mon, homicidal circus clowns and freaks? Why wasn't that in the first film?).

Biggest save here was Pfeiffer's Catwoman. I'd have liked her character better as a classic cat burglar like in the comics, but she needed what Burton gave her to make her more interesting for a film.

Batman Forever: Keaton's gone (boo!), Kilmer's here (yay!). I liked Kilmer as Wayne/Batman - he nailed the part as well as Keaton did, and even improved on it in some ways (Kilmer's Wayne seemed more haunted and his Batsuit looked a bit better). However, Schumacher fucked this early on in pre-production - in an interview, he said he loved Batman but didn't understand why he had to be so dark. Apparently, with apologies to Lucius Fox, Joe never got the memo, and it shows. Everything looked like it was obviously shot on a movie set, referenced the 60's TV show (which Burton tried damn hard to get away from in the first two flicks), and was so disjointed there were big areas where the movie just made no sense.

Carey's Riddler became a Joker clone. Would've made more sense to have Carey as the Joker to begin with, but Schumacher went this route instead. Frank Gorshin he ain't. Tommy Lee Jones as Two Face COULD have been great, and there were some flashes of that in his performance, but Schumacher's campy-style fucked that royally.

Chris O'Donnell as Robin was bad casting. I like O'Donnell as an actor, but he was wasted here. Had a very hard time buying him as a rebellious teen, and his Robin was just hokey.

Disappointing.

Batman and Robin: Clooney as Batman? Should've been a slam dunk. He looked and acted like the playboy Bruce Wayne was in the comics, and even looked great and had a couple of good moments in the Batsuit, but... damn. This flick was designed to move toys, and it shows. The film had it's head shoved so far up the 60's TV series' ass, it made the Adam West series look terrific by comparison.

Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze and Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy were great ideas for casting, but horrible in the execution thanks to Schumacher going so damn campy for this film. And what the FUCK was up with Bane? He was such a damn non-entity I almost always forget he's even in the film.

Like Martin said, choosing a favorite Schumacher Bat-film is like choosing your favorite piece of shit.Though I have issues with them, thank God for the Nolan Bat-films to get things back on track.

[Matt]

KIND HEARTS AND CORONETS

Featuring Sir Alec Guinness in 8 roles. The plot, in a nutshell: an unacknowledged heir to a Dukedom kills off the 8 people who stand in his way from gaining the title. It's a dramedy, with some very wry humor throughout.

Great film. Lots of fun to watch and listen to, and Alec Guinness is amazing in all of his roles.

[Martin]

Cast a Deadly Spell

How did this movie eluded me for so long? How a noir detective story set in 40's, where magic is common and demons are real, have slipped under my radar? Fred Ward as a detective named Lovecraft who has to retreive the Necronomicon for a rich man? How can it go wrong? It doesn't.

Fun little movie. Short on budget (it's a 1990's HBO), but really well intentioned.