What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Martin]

Dredd was fun as hell, but I'm pretty sure Looper is gonna be classic.

Chose that one over Seven Psychopaths, which I'll see cause In Bruges, whom I preached to anyone willing to listen, and The Pillowman are masterpieces of their genre.

[Abraham Smashington]

Grave Encounters 2.


Spoilers if you give a shit.


Emo Peter Parker is a shitty film student who wants to make "good" horror films but who is making a really shitty one for some reason becomes obsessed with the original Grave Encounters. He receives messages from an anonymous source stating that the movie was real and decides it's a great idea to take his annoying girlfriend, stupid fucking roommate, a punk lesbian, and an Asian with a camera to the hospital where the original was filmed. Nothing of interest actually happens except for shitty After Effects special effects on little girls and doctors because I guess that is "scary". They meet up with the annoying douche from the first one who now looks like William Defoe if he was a homeless person. Entire "team" but Emo Parker gets killed in really boring ways and a shitty CGI door to the spirit world crumbles as the big finale. The Vicious Brothers suck and this movie was garbage. Stay the fuck away.

[Captain Russ]

Shitty film student?

Lololololol

[Timothy225]

Sounds like Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows redux.

Was there ESREVER, Rob?

[Abraham Smashington]

No. There was SHITTYAFTEREFFECTSER

[Timothy225]

I learned my lesson from you re: Piranha 3DD. I shall avoid this.

[Matt]

ARGO:

This was great. Very intense, engrossing stuff. This will be remembered come award time with some acting nods, possibly more. Highly recommended.

Continuing with the Bond retrospective -
THUNDERBALL

We watched this last night. I think it has some odd structural issues to it...some things are overly explained, other things are glossed over or given NO transition. Some things happen that simply baffle the logic centers of your brain. Oh well, it still works for the most part, but the bloat is starting to creep in (especially with the 45 minute underwater battle at the end).

Solid entry. My wife's rankings (so far):
1. FROM RUSSIAN WITH LOVE
2. THUNDERBALL
3. DR. NO
4. GOLDFINGER

[FilmNerdJamie]

Thunderball's first 10 minutes (the teaser, opening credits/song and the SPECTRE boardroom meeting) are fucking awesome. The remainder fails to live up to that.

[Matt]

I also loved the conference room meeting with all of the 00 agents (007 arrives late, of course). It expanded the 00 universe. From a plot perspective, I liked the fact that they deemed the operation important enough that they used 9 agents to get it resolved.

[Matt]

YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE

The structural issues and transitions of THUNDERBALL are resolved, but the bloat is still there. Cut out about 20 minutes of fluff and this could be Connery's second best film. Great sets, great stuntwork, exotic locations...very entertaining film.

The wife's order of preference:
1. FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
2. THUNDERBALL
3. YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE
4. DR. NO
5. GOLDFINGER

She's really looking forward to seeing the Lazenby entry. I've prepped her as to what to expect.

[FilmNerdJamie]

YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE

The structural issues and transitions of THUNDERBALL are resolved, but the bloat is still there. Cut out about 20 minutes of fluff and this could be Connery's second best film. Great sets, great stuntwork, exotic locations...very entertaining film.

Great example of style overcompensating (lack of) substance. The most batshit nuts installment they ever made. Partially because there was so little time to second guess and partially that "Fuck it! Printing money!" ideology.

Connery's bored, Pleasence plays Blofeld as a sex offender and the female lead sucks. But son of a motherfucker do I love it. My favorite Connery-starer alongside Diamonds Are Forever.

[Matt]

ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE

Holy shit. I remembered this being good. I didn't remember it being GREAT. Great story, great leading lady, expert kinetic direction, exciting action sequences...this has it all. To top it off, Lazenby is much better in the role than I recall; he's stiff in certain spots but absolutely nails the key moments in the film. If you simply get Connery out of your mind and accept the fact that Lazenby is Bond, you'll have a grand time.

This just went to the top of my list. Phenomemal film. The wife absolutely loved it, too.

[Nathan]

Argo. Really dug it.

[Matt]

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

Good God is this one bad. This feels like amateur hour all the way. Unfunny with poorly directed and edited action sequences. Boring, lethargic...it's a true 'going through the motions' film devoid of any inspiration. The only positive in the film is that Jill St. John is hot. Terrible

[FilmNerdJamie]

I unabashedly love Diamonds. First time Connery is visibly enjoying himself since Goldfinger.