What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Abraham Smashington]

But a shaky camera means TEEEEEEENSION.

And screaming equals PLOT

[Anderson]

You a Cloverfield fan?

It's ok, but anyone that can defend Paranormal Activity leaves me to question their tastes.

[Abraham Smashington]

I'm a sucker for found footage shit. Paranormal works for me because I let myself get scared while watching it. Is it a good movie? nope. But it worked much better in my opinion than Cloverfield.

[Timothy225]

Like my fellow Kaiju fan, the esteemed Mr. Savage, I liked Cloverfield, but it absolutely needed work. Have yet to see any of the Paranormal Activity films, but I'm noticing more and more that a lot of the "found footage" films I've seen have very few characters I root for.

With Cloverfield, I was BEGGING for Hud and company to be devoured, much the same way I was eager to see the Blair Witch snuff Heather and crew in The Blair Witch Project. Their stupidity and decision-making skills just left me with Jake levels of ANGAR.

If Paranormal Activity has such characters. might have to take a pass, or else risk punching my screen.

[Martin]

Tim, the only found footage movie worth anyone's time is Chronicle. The rest may vary on your tastes, but Chronicle is spot-on.

[BillyG]

If Paranormal Activity has such characters. might have to take a pass, or else risk punching my screen.

PA has some amazing tatas with a tank top wrapped around them. That's a good character for me!

[Matt]

God i hated BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. I wanted all of them to die within five minutes.

Oh shit, a twig! AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! RUN!!!!!!!!

Never saw any of the PA films and was pretty much OK on CLOVERFIELD: what worked worked really well, but there was a lot of fat.

[Abraham Smashington]

Blair Witch has one of the best endings in a horror movie in my opinion. Even though I cant' stand the flick now, the ending and the mythology presented is just begging for a honest to goodness new Blair Witch flick (that isn't found footage).

[Martin]

God i hated BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. I wanted all of them to die within five minutes.

Oh shit, a twig! AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! RUN!!!!!!!!

Never saw any of the PA films and was pretty much OK on CLOVERFIELD: what worked worked really well, but there was a lot of fat.

Exactly.

And like I wrote above: try Chronicle. Good shit.

Blair Witch has one of the best endings in a horror movie in my opinion. Even though I cant' stand the flick now, the ending and the mythology presented is just begging for a honest to goodness new Blair Witch flick (that isn't found footage).

The Blair Witch ending was like the moment your captor wipes your face with a towel after you've been the centerpiece to a 100 men bukkake. Of course it's gonna feel great.

And didn't we get a non-found footage Blair Witch, which somehow managed to be even worse that the first?

[Shit Dickface]

Agreed with Martin. Watch Chronicle, damn it. It's way better than the trailer would lead you to believe.

[Abraham Smashington]

The 2nd Blair Witch wasn't good, but it wasn't outright horrible either. I've always been more interested in the back story set in the 1800's. The Parr stuff was creepy as fuck.

[BillyG]

uggggggggggggggggh Blair Witch 2 was like the worst fucking Godsmack video possible

[Abraham Smashington]

the hot goth and wiccan chick help me get through it. Plus, ESREVER was fucking retarded and awesome at the time.

[Martin]

Dude, you know I love Burn Notice, and thus I'm predisposed to like related stuff, and well the main guy from that show is in Blair Witch 2.

But still, Billy's right. It's eyeball-rape material.

[Timothy225]

Tim, the only found footage movie worth anyone's time is Chronicle. The rest may vary on your tastes, but Chronicle is spot-on.

Agreed with Martin. Watch Chronicle, damn it. It's way better than the trailer would lead you to believe.

I shall endeavor to do that very thing, gents!

PA has some amazing tatas with a tank top wrapped around them. That's a good character for me!

Tatas and tank tops. The cornerstone of every nutritious breakfast.

God i hated BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. I wanted all of them to die within five minutes.

Oh shit, a twig! AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! RUN!!!!!!!!

You. Me. Ssssssssssame.

Blair Witch has one of the best endings in a horror movie in my opinion. Even though I cant' stand the flick now, the ending and the mythology presented is just begging for a honest to goodness new Blair Witch flick (that isn't found footage).

Yeah, the ending to BW was pretty creepy, and did leave me hankering for more, despite all the BS in the previous 90 minutes. And sorry, the sequel sucked big moose cock, ESREVER be damned (yeah, watched that shit, tried to find all the clues, failed miserably. What was the solution?). As you mentioned later, a flick exploring more of the Parr stuff would be far more interesting.

Going back to Cloverfield, another thing that soured me on the flick afterwards was the fact they designed the monster to be a baby with separation anxiety, so we could feel sympathy towards it. However, they don't tell the audience this or even allude to it in the film, so we, as viewers, have to find this out on the innernetz. OK, first off? I'm really not looking for sympathy in my city-destroying monsters. I WANT CARNAGE. They NEVER set anything up in the movie that should elicit any sort of sympathetic response to the monster in the film, so why would you even mention it if you're not going to show it? Flicks like Frankenstein, King Kong, and Creature from the Black Lagoon... they establish sympathy for the monsters in the flick, and that will color the viewers' perception while the film is happening.

Leads me to point #2. If Cloverfield was a baby, where's the full grown beastie? WHY WEREN'T WE SHOWN THE FULL GROWN BEASTIE? I'm really getting tired of this "no, let's wait until the sequel" shit when they come up with a great concept. They pulled the same shit with Galactus in Fantastic Four 2, where they said they would show Galactus proper in the spin-off Silver Surfer movie. Yeah, I'm still waiting for that flick. But I do have a huge cosmic fart-cloud to tide me over.

I'm just hoping the upcoming US Godzilla flick delivers on the carnage and doesn't skimp like Cloverfield did. I want to SEE the monsters doing damage, and could give a rat's ass about whatever humans are going to be in the film or their stories. Two hours of monsters beating the shit out of each other and whatever city they're in is all I need.