What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[B_Metal]

Holy SHIT! We just watched 21 JUMP STREET tonight as well!

Funny stuff. Blown away by how good Tatum was in this.

Korean Jesus rocks.

Yep all of that.

[Ben Thomas]

'Er, the end? I don't know how to finish - the end?'

I have to say, I've got a lot of time for Jonah Hill. Between this and Moneyball (which must have been shot ages before Jump Street) he had a good year.

[Martin]

I'll need to watch 21 Jump Street tonight, as I'm so far having a shitty day.

[Matt]

HAROLD AND MAUDE on Criterion blu ray.

Gorgeous. I can't believe how awesome this looks. The sound also feels clear and distinct, and the music is flawless.

The film itself is a classic. I don't get the 'one of the best comedies of all time' thing (although it IS very funny), but it's simply a wonderful existential story. Highly recommended if you've never seen it.

[Ben Thomas]

John Carter

I guess the most damning thing you could say about it is that I watched it 12 hours ago and had already forgotten about it, until I read Taylor Kitsch's name on IMDB. Its not that its terrible, its just that it's so bland and does nothing to try and distinguish itself from the properties that have mined Burroughs' work for ideas for all these years. In fact, it seems to actively ape designs (physical and sound) from the Star Wars films - there are sound effects cues and whole effects shots that could have been lifted fromt he prequels. But the biggest problem with the film is Kitsch. He just doesn't have any presence and you only buy into him being a badass on Earth because they keep telling you he is.

Lynn Collins is quite good and - let's face it - looks like the cover of a fantasy novel, so no complaints in that department (those eyes, those thighs...) and Mark Strong predictably brings it. He has the most interesting lines in the film and the best grasp on how to deliver them, so you end up rooting for him against Carter a lot of the time. The rest is just a hodge-podge. Dominic West and Ciaran Hinds just turn up - you know you're in bad shape when James Purefoy is having more fun on screen. The setpieces are workmanlike at best, messy at worst, the CG flips between Star Wars and Judge Dredd quality, with some truly abysmal green-screen work, as well as a complete lack of consistency in the CG characters. Sometimes they're almost photo-real, other times they look like silly putty. The same goes for the overall design of the film - the crafts are quite nifty, whereas the characters have all been done before, better.

Its just a mess of filmmaking by committee really. The problem isn't even in the script. Its in Stanton and the Disney boys trying to please everyone by playing it safe creatively and ultimately missing the mark. There's a bizarre sequence where Carter decides to 'fight for something' and this rousing music plays over a montage of him literally slaughtering hundreds of Tharks, to the point that he's standing on a mound of corpses and you realise at that point that the film is completely lost tonally. Same goes for him kissing Deja Thoris in a moment of passion and reflecting on his dead wife while doing so. I get what they were going for, but it comes off as a little laughable.

But ultimately, when it was all over, I just didn't care. Not about the characters or their plights or that this has gone down as one of the biggest money losers in history. I'm kinda glad, because a perfectly serviceable property and script has been scuppered by lazy decision makers who considered their audience too dumb to get on board with what the property represents (listen to interviews with Stanton - the guy's a bit of a defensive, egotistical dick) and so they paid the price. Like I said, its not awful, but at no point did I smile or my heart race or I have any genuine sense of awe. Forgettable.

[BillyG]

An interesting failure is so much better than a forgettable movie.

[Ben Thomas]

Whatever I've said about Prometheus in the past - and I have more active bile for that film - at least it was trying something that could have been interesting and had moments of technical brilliance.

[Martin]

21 Jump Street.

So much great in this. Tatum fucking KILLED, as did Ice-Cube. The Depp cameo was priceless, and a nice cap to the original series. The 4 stages of the effects of that drug was so funny.

And Korean Jesus indeed fucking rocked.

I'll have to buy this.

[BillyG]

I need to buy it still. So fucking great. THE TWITTERSPHERE YALL

[Martin]

Real Steel

Color me surprised by how much I liked it. Look, it's basically Rocky, with robots. But somehow it works. Hugh Jackman is good as usual, but the kid who plays his son also steped up. Really nice surprise, considering how much I laughed at the concept.

[Ben Thomas]

I liked it too. Its no Warrior, but the effects are pretty much seamless and its a fun film.

[Ben Thomas]

Oh, just saw Spidey. Its ok. Its way too long and left me strangely cold, but everyone does good work. It just doesn't have any memorable action scenes and there are NONE for at least the first hour.

[Martin]

I think Warrior is my favorite fighting movie of all time, so Real Steel sure ain't that, but it's sure a fun movie. I don't know why, but I can't see to ever hate Hugh Jackman. He's pretty much always solid.

[Abraham Smashington]

Real Steel

Color me surprised by how much I liked it. Look, it's basically Rocky, with robots. But somehow it works. Hugh Jackman is good as usual, but the kid who plays his son also steped up. Really nice surprise, considering how much I laughed at the concept.

Loved that movie. But I love giant fighting robots.

Just made Lesley watch Hitman. I still dig the fuck outta it, and the subway scene is still badass. THE OLYPHANT is BADASS.

[B_Metal]

Real Steel was entertaining. A bit formula but fuck, what isn't these days?