Seriously, it's awful and makes no sense whatsoever. I don't even know where to start in explaining how terrible it is. Who gave Tom Six money to make this? I think at this point I'm more upset with myself for sitting through the whole thing.
Piranha 3DD - So fucking bad that it's kind of good. Tonally it's all over the place and it's shot like a fucking SyFy flick but some of the kills were decent. Also it has the best line next to the Schwarma line from Avengers.
"Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina."
John Gulager is not a good director. Feast had to have been a fluke.
The Hoff had some great moments and goddamn does Ving Rhames look old as fuck.
"Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG
"Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson
Rise of the Planet of the Apes - finally got to see this, and I'm kicking myself for not being all over it when it came out. This was great, tugged on the heartstrings in parts (poor Buck! Poor John Lithgow!), and chugged along at a nice place. CGI had some hiccups in parts, but the battle on the Golden Gate Bridge was pretty slick. Also dug the tips of the hat to the original film - the newspaper reports of the Icarus mission, Tom Felton's character named Dodge Landon, Cornelia the chimp, Maurice the orangutan, Will Jacobs... nice little Easter eggs, those. Also, first movie in a long while that had me wanting to see what happens next after the credits roll - do the cops or National Guard start rampaging through the redwoods to get Caesar and his army? What of the virus that's starting to kill the humans? I gots ta know!
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