What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Martin]

The trailer was pretty cool, but the movie is much more cooler. I've started looking online for other reviews, and it's seem to run in the same direction. I really hope it makes money, and never spawn a sequel. I want more movies from that director though.

[Ben Thomas]

Haywire.

Guys. This film is crap. Sorry.

Gina Carano's lovely to look at and the Fassbender fight is pretty cool. But the rest? If it was anyone other than Soderbergh, we would not give this a pass. Its lifeless, lacks style, suspense, drama and originality, the dialogue is atrocious and worst of all, its frankly a bit boring. Maybe I just don't get it (though I find it hard to believe there's much to get) cos I really was pulling for this film, but it did not do anything for me (Carano candy aside).

[Martin]

You are dead to me, sir.

[Ben Thomas]

What about Haywire was good? It rarely rises above mediocre and frequently dips way beneath that level. The inclusion of Michael Angarano and Channing Tatum in significant roles is a pretty accurate indicator of the film's quality.

[Martin]

I think Anderson best described the movie: it's Soderbergh's Commando.

And Commando IS a masterpiece.

[Ben Thomas]

But Commando is silly fun. When its laughable, its over the top laughable. This was just po-faced and either not brutal enough to be 'realistic' - and by brutal, i'm talking about the impact of the images, not the actions of the characters - or not outrageous enough to be awesome.

[Martin]

It's a great B-action movie doen by a great director.

[Ben Thomas]

Well, agree to disagree. I found it to be a completely uninspired and pedestrian DTV action film from a great director.

[Martin]

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but remember that mine is the RIGHT ONE!

[PHEDG]

...lacks style, suspense, drama and originality, the dialogue is atrocious and worst of all, its frankly a bit boring.

This seriously astounds me. I couldn't disagree more with every opinion listed above.

Lacks style? It's every bit as stylistic as Out of Sight, Oceans', Contagion. No suspense? You did see the whole foot chase on the rooftops sequence, correct? Atrocious dialogue? The conversations between Douglas and Banderas, or Paxton and Mcgregor? And boring? The soundtrack perfectly lends to the quick pace of the story. Thy mind is boggled.

[Anderson]

But Commando is silly fun. When its laughable, its over the top laughable. This was just po-faced and either not brutal enough to be 'realistic' - and by brutal, i'm talking about the impact of the images, not the actions of the characters - or not outrageous enough to be awesome.

You're on fucking crack.

[Ben Thomas]

Its nowhere near as stylish as those films. Its just felt really loosely edited and, while I appreciate the intention of standing back from the action, it didn't work here because a lot of the action was pretty clunky.

I thought the rooftop sequence was probably the most dull of the action scenes up to that point. There's a shot where the Garda come out on to the roof and Carano 'sneaks' away. Which amounts to the camera panning away from the Garda, even though geographically, she has just moved into their line of sight - sucked the tension right out of it for me.

As for the dialogue... Exhibit A:
'Watch out for LEOs'
'What are LEOs?'
'Law Enforcement Officers'

So, you're in a tight spot with a civilian who you should presume knows none of the shit you do about weapons and tactics and time is of the essence. So, you know what? Just say 'Cops'. Its so much easier and more efficient. These touches are there to prove that Lem Dobbs knows what they mean - they add ZERO to the film. Bill Paxton saying 'Watch your six' came off as laughably disingenuous too.

The score was completely misused as well. Its there to mask long stretches of characters doing things slowly, when it could have been used to punch up the uninvolving action. Comparing this to Out of Sight is fucking mental. Sorry, the waste of talent coupled with the hype has really pissed me off this time.

[BillyG]

Kill The Irishman is totally derivative of Goodfellas, but I couldn't give a shit less. It's pretty damn fun and filled with likable actors and actresses. Not only do you get Linda Cardellini looking amazing, but also Ray Stevenson in a hilarious hairpiece. The big bonus though? Fat Kilmer AND Fat D'Onofrio!

[gravedigger]

Well, I guess it's time to see if Kill the Irishman is on Instant.

[BillyG]

Well, I guess it's time to see if Kill the Irishman is on Instant.

It is.