What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Timothy225]

The Thing (2011) - watched this before Thanksgiving dinner (don't judge me!). Not as bad as I thought it would be, but the Carpenter flick was easily superior. This becomes obvious as this prequel almost walks you through Carpenter's film (blood tests, dogs, etc.), albeit with a couple of change-ups that makes me want to revisit the original, as well as the 1951 film.

The CGI and practical effects are nicely done, giving us a couple of slick sequences, and the creature design is almost Lovecraftian at points (again, some references to Bottin's superior SFX in the '82 version). The characters are barely developed for the most part, and it was kind of hard for me to pick out who's who. Winstead was OK in this - she worked well with what she was given, but her role could've been played by anybody, really.

Film ended as I hoped it would, but the whole enterprise was too joined at the hip to the '82 version for it to be its own beast, and really wasn't necessary. Worth a viewing, but I'd rather rewatch the '82 flick, especially if you're spending your winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH!

[Captain Russ]

Warrior, or "How Billy is so wrong it defies human understanding."

The clichéd set-up quickly erodes due to the incredible performances by Nick Nolte, Joel Edgerton and Tom Hardy as the Clan Conlon.

Hardy personifies years of bitterness and resentment, all coiled into a monster of a character seemingly doomed to the same terrible path as his father before him, without the tools to cope. He was drunk on rageahol and made it seem believable. I know that guy. We all know that guy. He is a scary fucking guy.

Edgerton came out of nowhere with a quiet and sad portrayal of a man on the brink of emasculation at the hands of a system that puts the toll directly on the individual. You could feel the weight nearly crushing him in that bank scene, in the parking garage, and in the ring. We all have been in his shoes. He is Joe the Plumber. You betcha.

And rounding out the group of thesps putting on a macho man clinic (OH YEAH) is Papa-san Nick Nolte: former drunk, Melville-enthusiast, and sometime fight trainer to his sons. He is a 1000-day chip of human frailty. While there is a scene that almost takes this careful character drama down with a wrecking ball, Nolte's well-documented history and his performance anchors it in as close a simulacrum of reality as film can create. If he doesn't get a nomination, then that's fine. I'll know he put on a fantastic fucking show and so will he.

The fights were brutal and well choreographed. Blood or no blood (Billy, come on. Seriously. Come on.) they were just as integral to the storytelling as any line of dialogue (I'm looking at you, Dave Russell. And you as well, Marky Fucking Mark.). Kurt Angle should pretend to be Russian more often.

Highly recommended whenever and however you find it. Manly tears shall be shed.

Off to watch Tyrannosaur now. Live from not New York, it's Saturday Night BAWWWWWWWWWW.

[Martin]

Right on the money my friend. How it can be so cliché yet so effective is proof of how well the execution is.

[Martin]

Jumper

Rob was spot on.

Fun, light, kinetic, and with great FX, it's the perfect movie to watch with Push (not the movie with that fat bloated black girl, the one with the always excellent Chris Evans).

Jaime Bell's character deserved more screentime, but still, even Anakin Vader was alright, as was that poor girl's Milas Kunis.

And both movies are begging for a well-deserved sequel.

[Matt]

kinda liked JUMPER as well. I don't ever need to watch it again, but I was entertained by it.

[Captain Russ]

Missed opportunity for a Stephen Jenkins cameo as the big bad who dyed Sam Jackson's hair.

[Martin]

It's like Jackson was practicing Nick Fury and was mising it with Snipes's Simon Phoenix character.

[BillyG]

Warrior, or "How Billy is so wrong it defies human understanding."

I'm glad you enjoyed your bowl of shit. it will save me in food when I host the BDR gathering.

[Captain Russ]

I'm glad you enjoyed your bowl of shit. it will save me in food when I host the BDR gathering.

I am not sorry this film caused you so much asspain.

[Ben Thomas]

I saw Push earlier this week.

For such a so-so film, its got a fairly complex mythology and narrative. Jumper's the better film though - its got better set-pieces and while it may be dumber it moves a lot faster and with more precision.

[FilmNerdJamie]

And rounding out the group of thesps putting on a macho man clinic (OH YEAH) is Papa-san Nick Nolte: former drunk, Melville-enthusiast, and sometime fight trainer to his sons. He is a 1000-day chip of human frailty. While there is a scene that almost takes this careful character drama down with a wrecking ball, Nolte's well-documented history and his performance anchors it in as close a simulacrum of reality as film can create. If he doesn't get a nomination, then that's fine. I'll know he put on a fantastic fucking show and so will he.

That scene in front of Edgerton's house where he recognizes his granddaughters fucking destroyed me.

[Abraham Smashington]

The Saint. Fuck yeah to skeezy techno listening, sixth sense having, coke snorting Russians. Also, gotdamn is THE SHUE hawt in this. Kilmer rocks and I want my trilogy.

[Matt]

Big fan of THE SAINT. I'm with you on this one, Rob...I wanted this to be a franchise in the worst possible way.

[Martin]

I don't have fond memories of The Saint, from a long time ago. Might have to rewatch it soon.

[Captain Russ]

Balada Triste de Trompeta aka The Last Circus.

One of the most bizarre love triangles I've seen.

Jules et Jim through the lens of a coked out Oliver Stone combined with Jodorowsky's Santa Sangre. It is at once incredibly grotesque, humorous, but above all, tragic. As the roller coaster continues its wild ride toward its end, for a scant few moments here and there, the outlandish characters show genuine vulnerability and become more than broadly painted caricatures.

The mania of it all is deftly captured by de la Iglesia and crew in increasingly inventive ways, and I have to tip my hat to the ballsy spaniard's willingness to shift tonal and narrative gears with such wreckless abandon.

Go in with an open mind and you might end up pleasantly surprised. Or unpleasantly.

MVP: Carolina Bang. Wow.