Spider-Man 2's Revenge Fight Against Green Goblin 4

[Ari]

NEW GAME/STORY TIME!!!

Ok, here’s the deal. This is going to be an awful fan-fic “choose your own adventure” story. Please write it as if you were 10 and just drank 2 gallons of Jolt soda and thought that Transformers 2 was the best film any human has ever made ever.

First person to choose a letter gets to write whatever they want. Just make sure it is wonderfully awful.

And here we go!

[Ari]

The year 2037 had just arrived and little Fred Parker was nearing his 13^th birthday. But it would not be a happy birthday, for his father, Peter Parker, was dying from death. Sitting at his father’s death bed, young Fred asked why he was getting sticky hands and senses to avoid ouch hurts.

“I am the Spider-Man and I am your father.” Peter then gave Fred his web shooters and quietly spoke his final words-“You must be Spider-Man now and have the great responsibility of great power that you have and your mother would be proud if she hadn’t been killed by the Green Goblin 4 who is really Harry Osborn Jr and your best friend who you go to school with.”

Then Peter Parker was the dead.

Fred put on the web shooters and cried and had a funereal for his father and made no mention of the fact that he knew his best friend was really Green Goblin 4. Fred knew what he had to do, make a new suit to become Spider-Man 2 and beat his friend for killing his mom.

Fred looked around his room for materials to make a suit. He found…


A) An old costume he wore when he was 12 that looked like a ninja with razor circuits and chain whips

B) 4lbs of moldy turkey that was no good for eating

C) A book entitled, “Sad Days When Your Parents Are Dead”

D) A new computer that he had just bought which was so fast it could play 500 games at the same time and make sandwiches and it had a million terabytes of storage to hold every photo ever taken by people on the Earth.

[Captain Russ]

What the fuck is a "Jolt soda?"

[Abraham Smashington]

You've never had Jolt? OMGZ. IT'S CAFFEINE FOR THE ADDRIDDLED.

[Captain Russ]

Previous post edited for emphasis.

[B_Metal]

Cola.....a liter of cola

[Ari]

I thought I may ignite a cola war by calling it "soda".

[PHEDG]

[Captain Russ]

Mmm...Nuka Cola Quantum...

[B_Metal]

Eh, doesn't matter. It's all coke anyway.