D&D 4.0

[Ari]

Shit was fun, even though my character took a bit to get used to sewer fighting.

[Abraham Smashington]

haha, you and your damn scimitar

[Ari]

It's curved for your pleasure.

[Abraham Smashington]

This weekend's session was pretty great. Ari, Samuel P. Samerson, and I made it through more of the sewers and ended upon Lord Zantiago and his gang's hideout. Thanks to one of our gang members named Buzzard (drunk dwarf that pulls his dick out a bunch to impress people) we caught them off guard and was able to take out all of his gang. Buzzard almost lost his penis in the fight but we were able to save it. During all of this we kept hearing noises coming from a locked door and after Samuel rolled a nat 20, we were able to break into the room only to come across Lord Zantiago fucking a gelatinous cube (Jelly C.) thanks to a magical condom he had created.

After unsuccessfully attempting to attack Lord directly I rolled a nat 20 and was able to lasso him and pull him directly into the cube. After forcing him to relent his power and join us, we freed him from the cube and told him why w were down there to begin with. Commander Preston (AKA FANCYPANTS) had hired us to wipe him out in exchange for postponing the taxes we owe him, but we think Preston is a dick so instead we cut off one of Lord's toes to bring back to Preston to let him know that it's been taken care of.

Once we got out of the sewer it was brought to our attention that The Wenches had destroyed our fucking boat so now we have pay for that shit. Thankfully we now have a giant gelatinous cube fucking Orc on our side and The Wenches have no idea what's coming for them.

[Ari]

God, this so feels like Hebrew school all over again.

[Timothy225]

You had fuckable gelatinous cubes in Hebrew School? LUCKY!

[Ari]

You had fuckable gelatinous cubes in Hebrew School? LUCKY!

Doesn't everyone? They are kosher after all.

[Abraham Smashington]

/posted
Ceej was blown away by the fact I actually prepared (??) an entire backstory for my dude. Izzim is a Tortus (basically a giant turtle) who was taken from his island by a pirate named Duvet Masthead when he was just a wee turtle and was made to learn how to sail the seas and hold his own in a fight. Another group of pirates then killed Duvet and all of my crewmates and left me to die.

SPoiler alert: I didn't die and instead found myself in a new town taking up side jobs until I ran into Ari and Sam's characters while waiting in line for one of Mable's famous Fish Pies. After that we found out that the city is overrun by different gangs like in The Warriors and one of the smaller gangs (Dock Boyz) were shaking down Mable for protection money. That didn't sit well with us so we went to their hideout to speak to the leader.

The leader was a pompous jackass with a fancy hat so I stole his hat, and told his gang members that "I am the captain now". That started a huge fight that Sam's Warforge character ended pretty quickly with his cannon. After taking out the leader, I told the remaining members that they can either join us or die. They joined us, we renamed ourselves the "Seedy Sailors", took over a bar, and then helped a fisherman from a shakedown.

During that shakedown the fisherman's swoop was boarded by a pirate party but they didn't realize that our crew had a giant turtle on it. I climbed off the edge of our boat and swam across to theirs while they were boarding. Once they were all on our boat, I started shooting them with my longbow while Ari and Sam burst out of the fish hold and we had an epic battle.

During this time the pirate captain realized I was on his boat so he came over to take me down. I didn't want this to happen so I used my trusty whip and attempted to knock him off his feet. That didn't go so well and he attempted to stab me in the chest. Well I'm a goddamn tortle with crazy shell armor and that didn't work. I still had his legs wrapped in my whip so I did what any tortus would do and lept off the boat with whip in hand. He failed his dex check and ended up flying off the boat in to the water and Sam was able to kill him. So we ended our first game with a new gang under my leadership, a new boat under my command, and we can drink for free at the bar since we are protecting them from the other gangs.

It was pretty fun.

Had a hankering to play DnD but I know Ceej so yeah, but I decided to create an updated avatar of Izzim the Tortus.

[BillyG]

If you want to join a game Sarah legit has 3 different weekly games going for over 2 years now.