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BLUE BALLS, BAT NIPS, and WONDER TITS -SPOILERS

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  • Saw the Flash suit in action in the trailer, and it still looks crappy. I'd rather see the TV version instead.

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    • The suits all look alright in motion, and the Flash’s moves all look really cool. Long elegant strides with lightning flying all around.

      Not a fan of the lower budget TV stuff so I’m easy to please.

      I’m a fan of Aqua Conan. He looks like an inverted color scheme Thor, just more drunk.
      Me quick one want slow

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      • Looks awful.
        Originally posted by Ari
        The only thing I want to tell her vagina is nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom

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        • My gut's still telling me it'll shit the bed. Great opening weekend, sure, but it's gonna spiral and crash soon after.

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          • Originally posted by Matt View Post
            Still laughing at Zakk Wylde as Aquaman, though.
            I fucking wish.

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            • Originally posted by B_Metal View Post
              This many movies in and DC's universe still has no cars on any streets when a big fight is happening? Either DC's universe has the best evacuation plans ever OR their CGI guys are leaving out a shit ton of details. It probably shouldn't bother me that much but damned if it doesn't.
              I want to say that according to leaks pulled from somebody's ass (whose father's brother's mother's best friend from way back that works for Warner Bros. disclosed) that the big throwdown is in Russia.

              Judging by those shitty social housing blocks, it looks about right.

              So in this instance, maybe they did evacuate?
              Me quick one want slow

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              • Well then I'll rescind my complaint but every other DC big battle takes place in a city with no cars it seems and no people running around screaming their heads off. Seems weird to me. And I'm not a Marvel fanboy looking for issues, it just pulls me right out of the movie.
                "Fuck Rob. Also, he has a podcast called Podcaust. Edgy Holocaust humor lulz indeed." - The Faraci

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                • Got my tickets for tonight. CANNOT FUCKING WAIT.
                  "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                  "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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                  •   Spoiler: Spoilers to ya mother! 
                    It's... terrible. Not one that stirs up anger or sheer "WHO APPROVED THIS!?" reactions like Batman v Superman. I will never forget the "Grandma's Peach Tea" explosion caused Philip to cover his face in horror and a little boy sitting close by us was visibly frightened throughout. That was an unmitigated disaster on the level of Cleopatra and Heaven's Gate.

                    This is just a mess that lacked focus, pacing and consistency. It felt like nobody cared. At one point, I'm sure they did. But with all the "course-corrections," all the "We promise we listened THIS TIME!" claims, all the re-shoots, they mentally checked out. Didn't care whatsoever if things didn't match up. Like... Superman returning to the Clark Kent disguise like nothing happened (thus ignoring his Obituary from Batman v Superman). Or wearing regular clothes (sans the glasses) with an entire moving crew in front of the Kent Farm and shooting the shit with Bruce. Again like nothing happened?!

                    I didn't believe that the world as seen in Justice League is the same as depicted in Batman v Superman... which itself felt like a different world from Man of Steel. If that makes any sense. Like a trilogy of Elseworlds films loosely tired together by Henry Cavill's Superman. Save for Ezra Miller and Jason Momoa, everyone comes across as bored... and that boredom is contagious. If you don't care enough, why should we?
                    Originally posted by Ari
                    The only thing I want to tell her vagina is nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom

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                    • So let down by this movie. Ugh.

                      Liked:
                      • The Flash
                      • The colors being bright
                      •   Spoiler: spoilers 
                        the end credits scene with Deathstroke and Lex promising the movie I WANT TO SEE BUT WILL NEVER GET
                      •   Spoiler: more spoilers 
                        The shots of Green Lanterns in the past fighting Steppenwolf
                      • Making Superman more Christopher Reeveish


                      Hated:
                      • The fact this movie feels like a completely different world than ANY of the other flicks
                      • Shitty Superman lip CGI
                      • Batman cracking jokes felt forced as fuckkkk
                      • Aquaman swimming looked he was propelled by his farts.
                      • Steppenwolf was a terrible villain and looked just as bad
                      • boring action scenes overall
                      • J.K. Simmons was wasted
                      • Making Superman more Christopher Reeveish


                      I much preferred BvS:Extended and Man of Steel over this. If this was the first of the DC movies I may have enjoyed it more but this just felt like a checklist of moments/scenes that were to show they were listening to the critics which took away from the movie. In no way does this feel like it belongs in this universe. If you watch Man of Steel - BvS back to back they feel like they belong together.

                      This feels like a cartoon based on that world WHICH would be totally fine if they didn't already try to set up a tone with past movies.

                      I do however want to see an entire movie of Superman and The Flash together. Those scenes were great.
                      "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                      "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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                      • At times, it felt like Superman IV if it didn't have the budget cuts and retained its shitty editing.

                        Opens with Batman (clean-shaven) on a roof-top with... some guy (No idea who he is). I think he's a petty criminal? Then the fear-hungry cockroach monster shows up and then Batman kills it. He walks off leaving the guy there. Next time we see him, he has the full-on beard looking for Aquaman. Zero idea of how much time has passed.
                        Originally posted by Ari
                        The only thing I want to tell her vagina is nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom

                        Comment


                        • yeah, that shit was confusing. Also in regards to Supes: they totally just forgot that last shot of BvS huh?
                          "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                          "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

                          Comment


                          • Yeah, he's just back to being Clark Kent. Like nothing happened.

                            EDIT: Oh that last shot of the floating dirt!? Yeah... there was little to any consistency from Man of Steel or Batman v Superman.
                            Last edited by FilmNerdJamie; 11-17-2017, 10:46 PM.
                            Originally posted by Ari
                            The only thing I want to tell her vagina is nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom

                            Comment


                            • Soooo.... wait for cable then? Good. More money to throw at Star Wars in a couple of weeks.

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                              • Originally posted by FilmNerdJamie View Post
                                At times, it felt like Superman IV if it didn't have the budget cuts and retained its shitty editing.

                                Opens with Batman (clean-shaven) on a roof-top with... some guy (No idea who he is). I think he's a petty criminal? Then the fear-hungry cockroach monster shows up and then Batman kills it. He walks off leaving the guy there. Next time we see him, he has the full-on beard looking for Aquaman. Zero idea of how much time has passed.
                                I noticed that too. Fucker grows a beard quickly.

                                Didn’t hate the movie. It’s aggressively average with a lot of good bits to balance out the bad bits. Most of the good stuff is in the third act, though, so I went out entertained enough to say that I enjoyed the experience overall.

                                Cavill’s great in this. REALLY great. Once he comes alive, the film kinda comes alive and starts to gel.

                                Cyborg was the only one of the new characters to really work and have an arc. Flash and Aquaman failed to impress but weren’t terrible.

                                The weak spot, believe it or not, is Affleck. He’s terrible in this. Distractingly terrible. Fucker wants out in the worst possible way.

                                It’s worth a matinee.
                                Originally posted by Martin
                                Who the fuck is Kellan Lutz?
                                Originally posted by gravedigger
                                Basically what I'm saying is that, based on what I've watched so far, we should all listen to Matt more often.
                                Originally posted by Martin
                                And who the FUCK is Peaches Geldof?
                                Kellan Lutz's girlfriend?

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