MASS EFFECT 3: The Mass Erectest

[Captain Russ]

The final Mass Effect 2 DLC has a name, a date and a price: The Arrival, 3/29/11, and 560 MS space bucks.

It also has the return of Admiral Hackett aka Lance Henriksen's voice aka

Time to fap

[Captain Russ]

Arrival finished. Back at 100% kermpleet.

Final thoughts:

The whole thing was so incredibly brief, it should have been free. But EA being EA, that would only happen if someone found the cure for greed.

Anyway, going about it all in a solo fashion, the countdown on the beacon kind of got the heart pumping a bit faster, but was still pretty easily dealt with once I realized the Station Guards like to spawn in only one area. The flamethrowing assholes are a fantastic living grenade.

The implications of Shepard's actions are not all that huge in the grand scheme of things. If you have been living under a rock and still have yet to see the ME3 trailer, then this might be for you.

  Spoiler: SPRLR UHLRT 

I mean, Batarians are the Somali pirates of this game. No one gives a fuck about them because they're complete assholes. A colony of not even a half million assholes weighed against the massacre of trillions by the fucking Reapers? Yeah. Not much fucking logicjuice needed to be squeezed to solve that problem.

The best thing about it was the bridge aspects of the story (as brief as they were). Being taunted by another punkass sentient spaceship brought back that old feeling: where'd I do anything to taunt the spacebitch right back and kill it LIKE A LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT HUMAN BOSS.

As a massive fanboy of this series, and replaying Lair of the Shadaloo Borker right before this, it felt like I paid for breadcrumbs that should have already been a part of the delicious crust of this fried chicken.

THEY SKIMPED ON THE FUCKING BATTER Y'ALL

[Abraham Smashington]

YES

• The Game begins with Shepard on Earth
• Shepard is on trial in regards to the events of Arrival
• Reapers invade while the trial is happening
• Prologue: Shepard’s escape to the Normandy, off to start finding allies, fighting Reaper troops
• Squadmates include Liara, Ashley/Kaiden, Garrus, James Sanders
• Screenshot shown of Ashley with her hair down
• Confirmed appearances (may not be squadmates): Wrex, Mordin, Legion, and Anderson
• Game will show a “previously on Mass Effect” interactive comic to make decisions if you’re starting from scartch
• The Illusive Man plays a big role
• Cerberus is out to kill Shepard
• Enhanced RPG elements
• More freedom with character skills
• Larger skill trees
• Powers will evolve several times, not just once
• Weapons are like the ones in Mass Effect 2, have a set list
• Mods returning, swap out different parts such as barrels, scopes (effect both the weapon’s combat performance and its appearance)
• Numerous endings
• Who you have in your squad and which allies you recruit greatly impact the endings that are available
• No multiplayer will be featured in the game

[BillyG]

omfg spoilers (that sound amazing)

[Captain Russ]

imcommandershepardandijustjizzedmypants

[V]

www.imcommandershepardandijustjizzedmypants.org

Someone needs to make that website...

[Abraham Smashington]

[Captain Russ]

That boy gets it

[Shit Dickface]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Shit Dickface]

Only other thing I realized I left out is that they watched a video of a segment involve a krogan vehicle train with Shepard riding along, and as it goes a Reaper comes down from the sky to attack. Shepard's vehicle is destoryed, and fighting the thing is impossible on foot. Then a Thresher Maw comes out of the ground and attacks the Reaper. The Thresher gets the upper hand by coiling itself around the Reaper, then drags it underground. It gets quiet, and seems to be over, then laser fire begins erupting from the ground, and Shepard decides this is a good place not to be. It then trails off into a description of how everything is so much bigger than the previous games.

came

[Abraham Smashington]

YES.

[gravedigger]

BONER MOUNTAIN.

However, Miranda on my squad or GTFO.

[Captain Russ]

OH HAI

I JUST LEAVE THESE HERE NOW?

  Spoiler: Gold, Jerry. Gold. 

[Captain Russ]

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

  Spoiler: HELLLLOOOOOUNCLELEO 

[Abraham Smashington]

omgz ninjaz