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PodCaust Episode 64: Replicants vs. Crips

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  • #31
    Resident Evil for me works because I never really got into the games. I take it as a mindless action/infected flick that has a smoking hot chick fucking shit up...
    Instagram: thepatronsaintofcheeseburgers

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    • #32
      But it's not even a good action movie, all Milla does is look confused and jump kicks things, it steals one of it's "best kills" from a far superior B movie and has nothing to do with Resident evil besides Umbrella and the virus. The fact that Romero wrote a script that is the entire game in script form but instead we got that piece of shit is what annoys me. Would Romero's script have worked? Who knows, but I'd rather watch that then what we got. And don't even get me started with the stupid fucking SUPER ALICE subplot. Weak sausage....
      "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

      "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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      • #33
        What redeems it to me is the commentary.

        Most notably, the fact that Milla must be high. And that she telegraphs her own nudity at the ending, by shouting "TWATSHOT".

        That's honesty I can get behind.

        Sans the commentary: the badly handled dramatic farewell to the seemingly doomed computer whiz, who shouts in the greatest Shatnerian way, "JUST GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"(where a better editor may have saved the shitshrieker's scene). Anderson can't even deliver a cliche correctly.

        It is a "so bad it is good" movie.
        Me quick one want slow

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        • #34
          I don't buy it. The commentary, while sounding hilarious, doesn't make up for the shitty movie. There are some cool ideas in here, it's just so sloppy. I prefer the second one way more than this one. At least that one knew it was retarded.
          "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

          "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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          • #35
            I think you're giving Anderson too much credit.

            He's the Ed Wood of modern genre properties. The intention is genuine, the execution makes you want to ram a can of Ajax down his throat.

            I just wish he had left the original ending intact. It is much more fitting with his inane vision:

            EXT. - UMBRELLA HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT

            ALICE struts up to the glass facade of the building. She eyes the security guards at the front desk in the lobby.

            INT. - LOBBY - ALSO NIGHT

            The security guards, MARTY and EARL, look at the monitor block. In the bottom right corner screen is ALICE. They each look up.

            EXT. - UMBRELLA HEADQUARTERS - STILL NIGHT

            ALICE pulls out a ROCKET LAUNCHER from behind her. She pulls the trigger.

            BOOM! A single missile ejects from the barrel. It splits into THREE MISSILES!

            INT. - LOBBY - LUNAR CYCLE STILL IN EFFECT

            MARTY and EARL are engulfed in dilating wombs of flame.

            THE END.

            See? It helps underline the whole point of the film: Paul Anderson is a well-paid, well-intentioned destroyer of IPs who executes every film with the same grace and care reserved for the inmates of Gitmo.
            Me quick one want slow

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            • #36
              Except that he did a bangup job with Mortal Kombat. So maybe he needs to just make movies with no story at all. That way he can't fuck them up.
              "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

              "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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              • #37
                I only liked Resident Evil for 2 things:

                1) It was the film me and Sarah watched on our first "date" when she came over to my house

                2) The ability to pause and zoom on Mila's twat shot.

                That's all.
                Blog Time! http://plasticlovin.blogspot.com/

                Reporter: "Is Ringo Starr the best drummer in the world?"
                John Lennon: "Ringo isn't even the best drummer in The Beatles."

                Forget it Viet, it's Hockentown. - Russ

                Lord Hocken's gaze was that of the Green Horned Mindraper.

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                • #38
                  There is also the fact that you can't hold Kombat up to the same standard, as it was a shit game to begin with.

                  MK is about as sacred as tap water.
                  Me quick one want slow

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                  • #39
                    Fine.

                    If I was to watch both of these movies with no knowledge of the games that spawned them, I'd still prefer MK. Why? Because it's a more entertaining movie. Milla is just devoid of any acting skills and I hate her in everything she's in. Except for Dazed and Confused. Because she doesnt' have more than like 5 lines.
                    "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                    "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      I dig 'em both for variations of the same reason.

                      And I'd agree on the point that I'd rather have seen Romero's take on the material, as Peesoshit Anderson crafted a generic action-horror movie.

                      I'd like to think that Romero would make the most of his budget, using practicals instead of dated post-fx. So I understand the hate to some degree.
                      Me quick one want slow

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                      • #41
                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBjNHsfofME
                        "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                        "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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                        • #42
                          Yep. Forgot he did that commercial.

                          A certain amount of Day-era soundtrack, Renfro, mixed with actual fucking zombies.

                          In an alternate timeline, Romero made us believe zombie sharks exist.

                          And holy shit, IRL Claire was hot.
                          Me quick one want slow

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                          • #43
                            Wasn't Chris Native American in Romero's script?

                            I read it a long time ago and now the details are beginning to return, albeit slowly.
                            Me quick one want slow

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                            • #44
                              Yep. I have the link somewhere.
                              "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                              "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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                              • #45
                                BAM!

                                http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/r...il_romero.html
                                "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                                "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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