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SHITE SCI FI

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  • A 'Terminator'/'Cyborg' ripoff that was actually kinda good: 'Automatic'.
    Originally posted by Martin
    Who the fuck is Kellan Lutz?
    Originally posted by gravedigger
    Basically what I'm saying is that, based on what I've watched so far, we should all listen to Matt more often.
    Originally posted by Martin
    And who the FUCK is Peaches Geldof?
    Kellan Lutz's girlfriend?

    Comment


    • Vin, XTRO is just one fucked up movie that would be akin to the sig you now don.
      BACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACON

      Comment


      • Originally posted by McMeatbag View Post

        Lawnmower Man: Jobe's War doesn't count. As it was boring as fuck and Austin O Brien.
        This was one of the hardest commentaries for us to do. NOTHING HAPPENS.
        "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

        "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

        Comment


        • So it IS just how I remember it.

          I'm sorry old chum. I'll have to listen to that commentary to see if the climactic swordfight IN CYBERSPACEspacespacespace was as lazy as I recall.

          One more for this thread that I don't think has been mentioned: KNIGHTS.

          This was one of those terrible shoestring budget films that had a goddamned hooplehead directing it and an overworked, underpaid, borderline psychotic editor bringing up the rear.

          It had a vaguely fuedal post-apocalyptic setting and it was shot in the middle of nowhere (probably New Mexico or somewhere in Monument Valley), with cybernetic knights engaging in the systematic rounding up of the unaltered HUGH-MONS to do their bidding or be their fuel source (I forget which, and it doesn't really matter anyway, because it was a piece of shit).

          Anyway, it had Whistler in the lead trying to save some peasant wench from the knights and their big bad leader in Lance Henriksen (who looked like Dr. Terror from the Centurions cartoon).

          I will have to track it down one day when I am willing to be assaulted by shite sci-fi.
          Last edited by Captain Russ; 07-03-2011, 08:52 PM.
          Me quick one want slow

          Comment


          • Oh man.

            As an extension of my huge brainfart last night in the "What Are You Thinking" thread, I started looking for the bot movie I remember from around that time.

            Lo and behold, ROBOT WARS.

            I remember now.

            I remember Scorpionbot versus a bi-pedal Johnny 5 in the desert.

            The first time I laid eyes on Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator and From Beyond would be a bit later). HNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGHHHH

            I watched the trailer. Fucking Full Moon Entertainment did it. The absolute pinnacle of cheap DTV schlock. GOOD LAWD.

            WHY DOES EMBED HATE THESE SHITTY MOVIES THAT I LOVE?
            Last edited by Captain Russ; 07-20-2011, 09:05 AM. Reason: They're tearing me apaaaaaaaaart
            Me quick one want slow

            Comment


            • Barbara Crampton...good memories there. Good mammaries, too.
              Originally posted by Martin
              Who the fuck is Kellan Lutz?
              Originally posted by gravedigger
              Basically what I'm saying is that, based on what I've watched so far, we should all listen to Matt more often.
              Originally posted by Martin
              And who the FUCK is Peaches Geldof?
              Kellan Lutz's girlfriend?

              Comment


              • Bobby wants this before his eyeballs sooner rather than later.
                "The bear is a solitary animal. They like their space. They live in a magic circle. They don't mind if you're, like, a mile away. But if you get inside their circle, they will maul you." - Anonymous

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                • Alien Love

                  Starring Worf. Exceptionally bad, and yet a perfectly entertaining enough mixture of bonkers and cheap to spend 80 high minutes with.
                  I experienced an invasion of my mind by a transcendentally rational mind, as if I had been insane all my life and suddenly I had become sane.

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                  • Originally posted by Ben Thomas View Post
                    Alien Love

                    Starring Worf.
                    The best thing about this, aside from the fact that there's a movie called Alien Love starring Worf (who seems like a nice enough guy in real life), was what happened when I tried searching for it. By the time I got to "alien lov", the first group of results included:

                    • Alien Loves Predator
                    • Alien Love Triangle
                    • Alien Love Child
                    • Alien Love Secrets
                    • Alien Love Bite

                    Incredible.
                    "The bear is a solitary animal. They like their space. They live in a magic circle. They don't mind if you're, like, a mile away. But if you get inside their circle, they will maul you." - Anonymous

                    Comment


                    • I used to love the Alien loves Predator strips.
                      I experienced an invasion of my mind by a transcendentally rational mind, as if I had been insane all my life and suddenly I had become sane.

                      Comment


                      • Then Bill Clinton came along.
                        Me quick one want slow

                        Comment


                        • Alien Love Secrets was a column Steve Vai used to write for Guitar Player magazine. It wasn't a beginner sort of thing, so I would skim it and then move on to the Dean guitar ads....

                          I'm looking at this thread and its titles from a little longer perspective. I'd add something like Gog if I had a thought you guys could make use of it.

                          This thing had a budget slightly less than your average Hall and Oates video. Shot in about two weeks on a couple of sets with two robots operated by midgets. They tried to make it epic, but mostly they made it muddled and lame.

                          No alien phallus elements, but it was the fifties so you really couldn't expect much

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                          • GOG!!!!!
                            BACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACON

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                            • And MAGOG!!!!!!!!!!

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