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musk oxen preventing me from sitting down
rant....
I am at the coffee shop, and I swear to god there is an obesity support group meeting here right now. It is like a pack of musk oxen circling around their young to protect it from predators. However, the "young" is my table with my coffee getting cold and I am the predator, a dude who made the mistake of going to the bathroom just before the heard started circling.
So, I approach the wall of bovine flesh and tried to find a hole. I could see my coffee and my laptop yearning for me. But I couldn't manage to discern to passage through the wall of undulating asses. Finally, I let out a growl to show the oxen I was serious and one managed to muster enough momentum to stand up on their frail little underused legs to take a step out of the way. I waded through.
As soon as I passed, the walls of flab closed in behind me. There is no going back. If I make a wrong move, I might die. I hope this lets up before feeding time or else I might be crushed under the stampede. I will probably just piss myself should I need to go to the bathroom again. I can't risk the oxen from not letting me in again. Oh the humanity.
end rant
I am at the coffee shop, and I swear to god there is an obesity support group meeting here right now. It is like a pack of musk oxen circling around their young to protect it from predators. However, the "young" is my table with my coffee getting cold and I am the predator, a dude who made the mistake of going to the bathroom just before the heard started circling.
So, I approach the wall of bovine flesh and tried to find a hole. I could see my coffee and my laptop yearning for me. But I couldn't manage to discern to passage through the wall of undulating asses. Finally, I let out a growl to show the oxen I was serious and one managed to muster enough momentum to stand up on their frail little underused legs to take a step out of the way. I waded through.
As soon as I passed, the walls of flab closed in behind me. There is no going back. If I make a wrong move, I might die. I hope this lets up before feeding time or else I might be crushed under the stampede. I will probably just piss myself should I need to go to the bathroom again. I can't risk the oxen from not letting me in again. Oh the humanity.
end rant
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